Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “India”

Keep expectations , Keep moving forward

Jhilmil loves to dress up in a feminine way, adjusting sari drapes and adoring herself in mirror.  She enjoys spicy Indian street food. . She longs for spending time with her childhood friend, Barfi. Though she is autistic but she is just like any regular girl.  She keeps her guards high. One fine day she experienced insecurity and jealousy from Shruti. Shruti is Barfi’s ex. She was expecting Barfi’s complete attention which now Shruti was sharing. She felt so bad, so  ignored andso  lonely that she left the place silently.

She was in love with Barfi.

Jhilmil and Barfi were childhood friends but what made her realize that she is in love with him ?

After Jhilmil left,  Barfi lost the zeal of life. He then realized he was in love with her. Why? Earlier he was trying to get rid of her. Now, she when is gone, what has changed? Why he have an urge to get her back in his life?

The beautiful adorable couple faced such separation because their expectations from each other did not meet. Does it look like most of the love stories today? Either they are maturing together or ruining their self because of ‘expectations’.

Our expectations determine whether we feel good or bad – happy or sad – content or angry – over whatever happens in our lives. They impact how we feel about our relationships, work, friends, and people we meet on the street, special days like holidays or birthdays and the world around us. Expectations set up the judge and jury on how we feel about our lives and ourselves. Our expectations are a ‘big deal’.

Some wise people have said, don’t keep expectations or keep them at minimal. It will only hurt you. But tell me, if you won’t expect anything from anyone, how will you cherish the gift you have in your kitty? How will you feel the precious love around you? We usually fight with friends, family and loved ones over various sensible and stupid reasons. Try digging out the nature of those arguments, you will find it’s always the difference in expectation level.  These are the relationships worth fighting for. These are the relationships worth keeping expectations for. If you don’t have dreams what are you going to live for?  Similarly If you don’t have expectations what are you going to achieve?

In any matrimonial alliance, the most common, initial and important question one stakeholder asks the other is ‘what are your expectations from this settlement?’

To determine the ‘big deal’ of our expectations, we have many unhealthy ways to try to meet them. Many struggle to fulfill them by pushing or controlling situations to fit into the mold already created. We may use manipulation, persuasion, passive aggression or intimidation (with anger or tears) to fill our expectations.

There are many different types of expectations that like approval, respect, attention, and love; validation of our good self, qualities and success; to have power or control on situations; to be taken care of by others and so on. If we didn’t receive them while growing up then it would impact our today’s expectations; whether we will receive them now or not. We may even unconsciously select or attract people to fill these types of expectations.

Many times we have expectations that are not reasonable or realistic, but that doesn’t mean that we are “bad” or demanding. It just means that we hope for things that, perhaps, we didn’t get at some time in our life.

Now, when I am entering in the 2nd quarter of life (oh yeah!! I expect myself to live 100 years. . . ) My mom’s expectations are changing, earlier she expected me to behave nicely, study well, speak in a polite cheerful way. Now she expect me to behave maturely, look into family issues, help her (read guide her) through various issue. etcetera. Her expectations are shaping me up to be the lady she has dreamed of me. She always wants me to go for higher studies, be independent and take my own decisions, because this is what she was expecting herself in her time.

Expectations define your relations.

For friendships, you might want to consider what you are looking for, and what do you want from a friend. How do you expect to handle conflict and communication with them? How are feelings and thoughts shared? How much trust do you have in your friendship? How much emotional dependency is ok?

For romantic relationships –  How do you define love and what do you expect from love? How do you approach problems and situations with your partner – as a team or independently and what does that do to your expectations?

When we can understand our expectations and where they come from, then we can begin to select those we wish to keep and begin to chuck out those that hold us back. We begin to gain more control and feel more content with our lives. Expectations give hope and excitement to our lives.  They give us the pushing factor to make them happen.

If I say ‘I wanna grow old with you’ I am expecting that you will be with me and I’ll do my best to hold you till eternity. Barfi had expectations from life, he wanted Jhilmil to be with him, he then made it happen.

Keep expectations, keep moving forward.

Saakshi

Why ? few things I don’t understand !

Hie,

These days, I am bit lost …so many things going around that I can’t understand why? Needless to say in a random order, I am just confused 😐

  1. Who gives water to my bamboo plant (beautifully placed on my desk) every day? Who ever do so, I appreciate your help but please have mercy on it and do not fill water till top!
  2. Why women are the biggest enemy of women? Can even other women claim to understand women? Do we have to be Sherlock Holmes!
  3. Why the hell they have said – Rs 86 as a new poverty line in India? Insane !
  4. Why do we have a bad hair day on the day when we look pretty? 
  5. Why twitter make trends like Sonakshi Sinha’s forehead ? Dear twitter , you don’t have to behave like insensible evil brained Indian politician. Please. 
  6. I just don’t understand Stock market / mutual funds / credit cards – for me it would be better to invest in Gold/ PPF / Fixed Deposits / Infrastructure Bonds . I prepare a budget sheet , use debit card , I know I am old school ..but  this is how I manage to keep myself safe and secured 🙂 
  7. Hype created for ‘ Race for President’. The first person of India !! Instead of choosing any popular guy , can govt. select a person who is not just a pre programmed low efficient machine to sign papers. With no offence , I just want to make a point that , please don’t delay  few highly urgent and important decisions for exceptionally long years eg  Kasab , for what  ‘type of’ mercy they are waiting to take decision.  Hang him.                                                                                                                                                                                          We need a leader who has a sensible rational logical analytical mindset and capable to act. 
  8. Gender biasing , India is an orthodox country where women are considered as inferior , no matter  if they are educated &  independent ,even if our President is a women , we face loads of unwritten and unsaid DON’Ts.  almost every other day.   Okay ,  we are born and bought up  in such envt , but still can’t understand why  ??? 
  9. Why do women have mood swings? 
  10. When will I be able get rid of these dark circles? 
  11. Fascination of play station/android games . No points for guessing  – I don’t play. 
  12. Why do people lie , when they know that I am very much aware of their lying ?
  13. Why do I cry , when I can’t hold my anger ? Good for the other party , I just can’t shout or show tantrums ,I  remain silent and isolate in my den and at times cry … Notes to self – Improve and let it go. 
  14. Why didn’t Enrique replied to my tweets on his birthday 😥 
  15. Why did I left that awesome bag just because it was way to expensive at Janpath , last year ?  Women , I swear !

Well guys , I believe I won’t get answers to these WHYs and on a honest note , I don’t care much (except few). I am not frustrated , its just the phase I am going through (probably  bad luck days). Never mind.

How are you doing ?

Love,

Saakshi

Best 15 love songs on my playlist (Side B : Hindi)

Here , is the anticipated top 15 love songs (my favorite) playlist in Hindi.

Actually this list is endless (I have to stop somewhere!), I  grew up listening to these hindi songs. This list consists of songs that pronounce endless and selfless love.

Needless to say , the list is not in any particular order.

  1. Rehna tu –Film : Delhi 6

 ð  A beautiful song by Oscar winning A R Rehman. Try it on a  guitar or a violin or on the keyboard , it only spreads love.

 “haath thaam chalana ho, toh dono ke daaye haath sang kaise,ek daaya hoga ek baaya hoga,tham le, haath yeh thaam le, chalna hai sang thaam le,rehna tu, hai jaisa tu,thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukun”  

 2. Pehla Nasha –Film : Jo Jeeta Wohi SIkandar

 ð  Classic Song. Being in love means – day dreaming, jumping over  benches, swinging in air, throwing  notes in air, smiling and dancing like never before; living in the world but lost in love.

This one dedicated to all first time lovers 🙂

Udta hi firoon in hawaon mein kahin, Ya main jhool jaoon in ghataon mein kahin, Ek kar doon aasmaan zameen, Kaho yaaron kya karoon kya nahin……… Usne baat ki kuchh aise dhang se, Sapne de gaya vo hazaaron range ke, Reh jaoon jaise main haar ke, Aur choome vo mujhe pyaar se ” 

3. Suno na –Film : Jhankar Beats

 ð  When telepathy grows stronger than words.

 “Door ho kar bhi door tum nahin ho, paas ho lekin paas kyon nahin ho,….tanha tanha sama, mehki mehki hawa

 4. Dil kya kare  – Remixed version : Shaan  (Film : Julie)

 ð  My favorite since childhood,. Original is good, but the remixed version by Shaan is awesome.

dil kyaa kare jab kisee se, kisee ko pyaar ho jaaye, jaane kahaa kab kisee ko, kisee se pyaar ho jaaye,unchee  unchee diwaaron see, is duniyaan kee rasme, naa kuchh tere bas mein jyoolee, naa kuchh mere bas me” 

5. Deewana tera – Singer : Sonu Nigam

 ð  Sonu Nigam gave back to back romantic albums – Deewana , Jaan , Yaad etc, this is my favorite.  Sing like …Deeeewannaaaa teraaaaaaaa tujhe hi bulaeeee …..

 “  Yaad teri aane lagi,jaan jaane lagi hai, Ho ke juda kyun tu mujhe, aazmane lagi hai, Yeh bhi to soch le dil hai sheesha mera, Jaane kab toot jaaye

 6. Woh pehli baar – Film : Pyaar mei kabhi kabhi

 ð  Oh , that college love !! 🙂 🙂  I am sure, it would be on favorite list of most of you. Just walk hand in hand, while listening to the song .

 “Teri aankhon mein jannat basake chala, Teri zulfon ki chhaaon mein chalta chala, Tere neinon mein chein tere labh pe khushi, Tujhko hi main mohabbat bana ke chala

 7. Pal pal dil ke paas tum rehti ho – Film : Black Mail

ð  I love old songs , all of Kishore Kumar’s and Mohd . Rafi’s but this number , has something special 🙂  Add some personal touch to it , dedicate this to your beloved on a long drive.

 “Har Shyam Aankhon Par,Tera Aanchal Lehraye,Har Raat Yaadon Ki,Baarat Le AayeMaein Saans Leta Hoon,Teri Khushboo Aati Hai,Ek Mehka Mehka Sa ,Paigham Laati HaiMeri Dil Ki Dhadkan Bhi, Tere Geet Gaati Hai, Pal Pal … 

8. Tum ho – Film : Rockstar

ð  No doubt Mohit Chauhan has given incredible romantic numbers since silk route (remember : dooba dooba rehta hun) , this track from Rockstar, touches my heart. First 9 sec …awesome….divine.

 “Tum ho..,Mere liye,Mere liye,Ho tum yoon..,Khud ko mein,Haar gaya tumko,Tumko main jeeta hoon……..,Kahin se..,Kahin ko..bhi,Aao bewajah chale,Pooche bina kisi se,Hum mile..,Bandishein naa rahin,Koi baaki..,Tum ho..”

 9. Dil Ibaadat  – Film : Tum Mile

 ð  It’s my observation ,Emran Hashmi’s songs are always far too good. This one is more realistic and appropriate for all ages. Feel young  🙂

Baahon mein de bas jaane, Seene mein de chup jaane, Tujh bhin main jaaoon toh kahaan, Tujhse hai mujhko pane, Yaadon ke woh nazraane, Ik jinpe hak ho bas mera

 10. Guzarish – Film : Gajni

 ð  When this film was released, my cousin says it’s an essay . To me it’s an ecstasy.

Kehde tu haan to zindagi,Jharno se choot ke hassegi,Moti honge moti rahon mein..Yeah yeah yeah,Tu meri adhoori pyaas pyaas

 11. Tum se hi – Film : Jab we met

 ð  Want that spark back. For  soulmates; looking into each other eyes , cherishing the moments in each others arms 🙂

Aadha Sa Wada Kabhi, Aadhe Se Jayada Kabhi, Jee Chaahe Kar Lu Is Tarah Wafa Ka, Chhode Na Chhoote Kabhi, Tode Na Tute Kabhi,Jo Dhaga Tumse Jud Gaya Wafa Ka, Main Tera Sarmaya Hoon, Jo Main Ban Paya Hoon, Tumse Hi

 12. Baaatein kuch ankahee si – Film : Life in a metro

 ð  Looking for a way to express your undying love …. This will help you.

 “keh de mujhse dil mein kya hai, aisa bhi kya guroor, tujhko bhi toh ho raha hai thoda asar jaroor, yeh khaamoshi jine na de, koi toh baat ho, wo wo o o o o o…….., shaayad yahi hai pyaar 
 

13. . Hey Shona – Film :  Tara Rum Pum

 ð  For that sugar coated confession of love 😉

 “Tumhein Pata To Hoga, Tum Hi Pe Main Fida Hoon, Tumhein Hai Jab Se Chaha, Hawaon Mein Udta Hoon, Tum Hi Mere har Pal Mein, Tum Aaj Mein Tum Kal Mein, Hey Shona Hey Shona “ 

14.   Kehta hai pal pal tumse  – Film : Major Saab

ð   The simplest way to say it all.

Hum Tum Tum Hum Ban Ke Rahein, Hum Raaz Humsafar, Shikwa Kare Na Koi, Ek Duje Se Umr Bhar, Pyaar Hamara Ho Aisa Ke, Dekhe Ye Zamaana, Pyaar Kiya To Nibhana

 15: Kuch na kaho , kuch bhi na kaho – Film : 1942 A Love Story

ð  Have you ever heard , non verbal communications strengthen  the bond.

Aur is pal mein koi nahin hai, Bas ek main hoon, bas ek tum ho, Kuch na kaho, kuch bhi na kaho, Kya kehna hai, kya sunna hai, Mujhko pata hai, tumko pata hai, Samay ka yeh pal tham sa gaya hai, Aur is pal mein koi nahin hai, Bas ek main hoon, bas ek tum ho

 PS : For non hindi readers, I tried to translate these  lyrics in english, but I stopped myself. I realised I am ruining the beauty of songs. Few words (in different languages) depict emotions more strongly.

Love,

Saakshi

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2011 – Monthly Bulletin

Countdown has begun. We all have lived an awesome 2011 and desperately waiting for 2012.

Just thought of sharing my eventful year with you all , presented  in a bullet list. One sentence for each month.

Disclaimer: I might have missed some important ones , because I have totally relied on my twitter account for this particular blog. I am too bad with something called ‘memory’ and unfortunately not much active on twitter.

Here it is .. what I call 2011  in my life …

  • January  2011:

Back from Hyderabad (my first train journey)  and Welcome 2011 with the 2 month long cough, bad isn’t. But some how managed to enjoy Jim Corbett trip with my humpty-dumpty avatar.

  • February  2011:

Finally start writing, made account on wordpress and here goes my first blog. BA – Hidden Leaders

  • March 2011 :

India won the world cup and I lost my world.

  • April  2011:

Restless , Reckless and anxious month

  • May  2011:

I am a water baby !! Loved Rishikesh trip to the core. Discovered the kid in me :). Re discovered a friend after almost a decade.

  • June 2011 :

Tweeted nothing substantial and my memory never last forever.

  • July 2011 :

Monsoons blessed me with best friend betrays 😦 red ants 😦 , elongated power cuts 😦 and toastmasters 🙂 . Round trip to Banglore.

  • August 2011 :

New laptop , new internet connection. Dreams flying high!!

  • September  2011:

Initiated the noble cause of sending  everyone in my contact list , their daily dose of motivational and inspirational quotes as a SMS. If you are not in my SMS list , you can still get your daily dose for month of December here : Daily Inspirational Quotes – December 2011

  • October 2011 :

Fragile month ! Spend whole month in studying Agile Methodologies, preparing Cross Culture Communication training course and Diwali celebrations.

  • November  2011:

Marriage season is on, all my best friends are getting married. Me? I am now Rockstar personified.

  • December  2011:

As the year is approaching to its end, I wish 2 things to do daily – write and workout.

I believe I will work on both , some day , ahh !!

Let me know , how 2011 was for you all ? And how much you are waiting for 2012?

Wish you a happy and happening 2012 !

Luxury expenses for an undismayed demon – Kasab

Surfing net, a news headline caught my attention ‘Rs 100 cr – cost of keeping Kasab alive’ and I was like… shocked for few moments. Is it true? Really … Indian govt.  paying so huge for a terrorist to keep alive ? ?

Two years back, night of Nov 26, 2008 after office,  in the coziness and secureness of my room I was busy chatting with friends on net and listening music. All of a sudden one of them gives a buzz, Mumbai – Hotel Taj under terror attacks, switch to news channel immediately. Blood rushed down from head to toe , soon all sites were flashing the same news, we (me and my friend group) praying for peace and safety for the city and our friends who had recently shifted there. Recalling that one of our good friend is working at Taj , we all were more worried , trying his cell phone countless times , which was incidentally switched off.

That was my experience and when it comes to Kasab , mercy doesn’t exist in my dictionary. Same would be the feelings of millions of Indians. Name Kasab or Afzal (prime accuse of Parliament attack 10 years ago).

Out of my anger I read the news on website stating the huge amount – (approx Rs 100 cr till the time  final verdict is out)  spent on Kasab for keeping him alive, secure in his cell and for the ongoing expenses of verdict.

Though verdict is out and as expected but it has to be confirmed by Supreme Court, and then will land on the President’s table for mercy waiting # 31. 30 cases are pending before him to be solved, keeping this in mind and efficiency of our system, the website  say the last action will be taken in 2018 !!!  :/

I am not accusing any government either be congress or BJP or anyone. It’s we who choose them.

Just a question, if you find any pest or mice in your house, you immediately put efforts to keep them out. India is our nation; keep it clean and safe. Don’t set examples and invitations for more attacks. We are tired of getting same excuses; there is no mercy for such so-called “humans”.

By God’s grace my friend was safe that night as he was having a day off. And spending 100 crore is waste of hard-earned money paid as taxes.

My verdict – Kasab should be killed by the most insane way ever known by human kind. How can one even think of entertaining such mercy petitions for justice? Choose one – Justice for an undismayed demon or Justice for peace-loving nation?

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