Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “living alone”

When you are living alone …..

 My Project 4 Toastmasters Speech – Objective : How you say it ?

When you are living alone

Everyone has their own set of problems , like mother-in-law’s  bashing , metros running late , cribbing spouses /girlfriend / boyfriend , petrol prices rising , Mr  Dependable retiring from International Cricket , Clients draining your energy , Boss always asking for status , Figures on salary slips or the lack of it, post holi allergies , Lunch time and toastmasters meeting. Isn’t it?

  Well I am no exception; I narrate almost all of my problems with the starting line – When you are living alone. So with due apologies, I am cribbing again on this hot Friday afternoon.
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Hello Everyone.

When you are living alone

 When you are living alone, you feel confident, brave, big girl, independent and cool among your peers. Were you thinking the same? OH please, it’s all rubbish. Nothing in reality is like this. If you are planning to live alone there are numbers of problems crossing your way. Don’t worry I won’t be requiring any tissues in between, as I said earlier, I am a big girl…. will manage.

 Just need your kind attention to this subject matter.

 1. Living alone means, there is no body to help you occasionally with morning tea or to wake you up in case you are running late.

2. On those epic days when you managed to get up at the crack of dawn and go for morning walk, you have to carry keys with you

3.   You have to do all the washing, cleaning, dishes and laundry by yourself. Trust me this ruthless society won’t let you breathe if they come to know about your maid, as per them I am of perfect marriageable age and I should excel in my home management training otherwise my future in-laws or my future husband will kick me out.

4. There will be no one to assure whether you are looking presentable or not before stepping out. You are forced to be dependent upon what’s app 🙂

5. Though you are organized and have a well decorated place, you may have a habit of throwing washed or to be washed clothes on the not so usable bean bag. Take my free advice; avoid this habit, just in case, friends drop by in the evening for a movie or coffee. Your neat – clean – sophisticated image will vanish at the first sight.

6. You have to keep extra cutlery and dish wares for the guests; and you have to clean them too.

7. The most irritated person in your life would be vegetable seller who  has a smirk, because you pointedly  pick quarter kg of onion – tomatoes , 2 capsicums, 4 cucumbers and request for a half cauliflower. If you happen to own a fridge, there would surely be a lemon which used to be an orange few weeks ago.

8. In case you are terrorized by lizards or rodents, God is the only one who is at your service only if you religiously remind Him this task every morning in your prayers. After all there is just one!

9. Demonstrating your responsible person, you have to be extra cautious while hanging your wet clothes out on terrace , if it rains or is there any hurricane , oh we have storms in Delhi NCR, then you have to put all the effort again.

10. If you have any sick feeling, book yourself some place either at one of your close friends or call someone to take you home at the earliest. Being alone and falling sick is the toughest trauma one needs to go through.

11. You are prone to take genuinely unplanned casual leaves due to some electrician, plumber sometimes carpenter too is visiting your place.

12. You are forced to give your office address to call all the posts , so nothing fishy can be done with your life , ah boring.

13. You are deprived of blaming and cursing your roommate for the huge electricity bill and that’s not fair.

 Now , if you  are still Home alone 1 , 2 and 3 fan you just had a sneak peak to what might come your way , one fine day , you wish to live alone.

Love,

Saakshi

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Love is a sweet poison

Single and alone. You must be reading this article because you probably are either in love and bearing its sweet side effects or you are single and alone and reading this article to boost your self esteem. I am sorry, friends, this is rather something more like my unfortunate (read, forceful) love story.

I proudly say that I am single and I live alone. I am big girl 🙂  . But now, I doubt.

A stalker, or I must say the crazy lover is back in my life , the one who once allegedly ruined my birthday (demand at your own risk) is in love – hate – love relationship with me. If you forgot – that’s THE scary mouse.
Mouse

I can’t believe, he is back!! buhuuuuuu ,can someone hear me crying. He must have read my previous posts where I was talking about love; and assumed that I needed someone by my side.

Trying his best to convince me, that it is okay, we both can share my studio apartment. He, obviously won’t be paying any rent, electricity bills (oh why would he, he is adaptable to environment, doesn’t own any mobile phone or laptop, and yuck, never shave!) , water bills (I wonder when he last had a bath)  etc etc. He is even confident, that this (he would be , wait , he is actually , my new roommate) will remain a secret from my landlord and there is no need to add his credentials on rent agreement. He promises me that he will be entirely dependent on whatever I will feed him , be it anything edible human food item , or my clothes/curtains/beddings etc . Finally he is signing up the deal, assuring me of a hidden bonus – hygiene factor. This is very simple, if he remains, oh I am so sorry, If he stays here, then I have to have clean my dishes before using them 😦

Do you guys think, he is successful in closing this deal? Nopes. I am in no mood to give up. I am fighter and this place belongs to me. Any outsider/refugee needs to go out, miles far away so that I can enjoy MY life, MY place peacefully. After all, I am working day-night, not just to earn some brown bread high on nutrition low on fat butter, but this serene place too. Experience, and probably some researches would say so, it is bit easier to find a job than a home.

Nothing derogatory, size does matter, It will be me who is going to rule, I can give a fight to a mouse. ( Can  I??? 😐 ) . My bad luck, I was a science student and studied Engineering, so can’t recall my biology lessons in school. It must be something like larger the heart the more someone is at risk of attack.

This someone, is me 😦

This mouse seems to be descendent of some fighter, or I should rather say a warrior! Whatever I do, he takes the game. Here comes the communication gap. He is trying to impress by surprising me, where as the truth is, I am more scared by such activities.

Current scenario, we are practically sharing my studio flat. When I am out at work, he enjoys his dive from the window to my bed, then to my side table and then lost . Lost because I am unable to find where else does he go afterwards. He do loves me (I can’t believe I am saying that ), he has never disturbed anything , my clothes are in good state , no itsy bitys bites (thankfully) and nothing is misplaced. When I am back , he obediently gets back into his hiding place and doesn’t bother me.

So , you must be wondering that what is making me so annoyed at him ? Tonight, he has a guest; one of his bulky macho type’s mouse2 has joined him. He (mouse2) is not aware of the rules and regulations we have silently agreed upon. He is too ugly. I apologize to animal welfare associations for insulting a little ( little !!!!) creature , but I am helpless.

Though I am still waiting for my yearly appraisal results and desperately waiting to know the incremented salary, no matter it’s being late , I tried to delight the mice couple  by treating them with  dropping extra amount of cheese on a big bread slice and topping it with oregano in the mouse trap and keeping rat kill cubes at all their hangout points in my flat. I know I am witty 🙂 . Hope they will help.

Mouse2  is jumping from bed to table , climbing curtains, playing hide-n-seek on my books rack , and here  I am  losing all my power and senses to rescue myself, sitting on  kitchen slab with the laptop to scribble the scariest night experience as my blog ,  keep an eye on his whereabouts (just to ensure , he stays away from me)and insanely screaming . I know I can be heard and disturbing my neighbors and security guard’s  power/beauty  sleep as they have knocked/phoned me to enquire , is everything alright ? ( I wish it could have been , I terribly need a goodnight’s sleep).

They are so lost in each other , playing and having such a good time , that they just forget  to have their yummy dinner and power packed sleep. Both are in a hyper active energetic mode, enjoying their night out.

Now, what shall I do ? Ahhh .. not done . Atleast have some human …errr… rat … nopes …. Living being’s perception , leave this innocent , sweet girl alone ! Leave my room , permanently !!

Do you think , my fighting and defending measures are good but this mice couple is superb ? Please consider this fact that I am scared of rodents and dogs to death. If you wish to lie, then do it decently 🙂

PS : Love is a sweet poison, that has the power to overrule the actual poison (rat kill) . Lesson of the day.

Hoping to remain single and happily live alone.

Saakshi

 

If you have some sympathies with me , then please share the story , spread the word, and help a sweet, innocent, scared to death girl.

 

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