Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “mouse”

Love is a sweet poison

Single and alone. You must be reading this article because you probably are either in love and bearing its sweet side effects or you are single and alone and reading this article to boost your self esteem. I am sorry, friends, this is rather something more like my unfortunate (read, forceful) love story.

I proudly say that I am single and I live alone. I am big girl 🙂  . But now, I doubt.

A stalker, or I must say the crazy lover is back in my life , the one who once allegedly ruined my birthday (demand at your own risk) is in love – hate – love relationship with me. If you forgot – that’s THE scary mouse.
Mouse

I can’t believe, he is back!! buhuuuuuu ,can someone hear me crying. He must have read my previous posts where I was talking about love; and assumed that I needed someone by my side.

Trying his best to convince me, that it is okay, we both can share my studio apartment. He, obviously won’t be paying any rent, electricity bills (oh why would he, he is adaptable to environment, doesn’t own any mobile phone or laptop, and yuck, never shave!) , water bills (I wonder when he last had a bath)  etc etc. He is even confident, that this (he would be , wait , he is actually , my new roommate) will remain a secret from my landlord and there is no need to add his credentials on rent agreement. He promises me that he will be entirely dependent on whatever I will feed him , be it anything edible human food item , or my clothes/curtains/beddings etc . Finally he is signing up the deal, assuring me of a hidden bonus – hygiene factor. This is very simple, if he remains, oh I am so sorry, If he stays here, then I have to have clean my dishes before using them 😦

Do you guys think, he is successful in closing this deal? Nopes. I am in no mood to give up. I am fighter and this place belongs to me. Any outsider/refugee needs to go out, miles far away so that I can enjoy MY life, MY place peacefully. After all, I am working day-night, not just to earn some brown bread high on nutrition low on fat butter, but this serene place too. Experience, and probably some researches would say so, it is bit easier to find a job than a home.

Nothing derogatory, size does matter, It will be me who is going to rule, I can give a fight to a mouse. ( Can  I??? 😐 ) . My bad luck, I was a science student and studied Engineering, so can’t recall my biology lessons in school. It must be something like larger the heart the more someone is at risk of attack.

This someone, is me 😦

This mouse seems to be descendent of some fighter, or I should rather say a warrior! Whatever I do, he takes the game. Here comes the communication gap. He is trying to impress by surprising me, where as the truth is, I am more scared by such activities.

Current scenario, we are practically sharing my studio flat. When I am out at work, he enjoys his dive from the window to my bed, then to my side table and then lost . Lost because I am unable to find where else does he go afterwards. He do loves me (I can’t believe I am saying that ), he has never disturbed anything , my clothes are in good state , no itsy bitys bites (thankfully) and nothing is misplaced. When I am back , he obediently gets back into his hiding place and doesn’t bother me.

So , you must be wondering that what is making me so annoyed at him ? Tonight, he has a guest; one of his bulky macho type’s mouse2 has joined him. He (mouse2) is not aware of the rules and regulations we have silently agreed upon. He is too ugly. I apologize to animal welfare associations for insulting a little ( little !!!!) creature , but I am helpless.

Though I am still waiting for my yearly appraisal results and desperately waiting to know the incremented salary, no matter it’s being late , I tried to delight the mice couple  by treating them with  dropping extra amount of cheese on a big bread slice and topping it with oregano in the mouse trap and keeping rat kill cubes at all their hangout points in my flat. I know I am witty 🙂 . Hope they will help.

Mouse2  is jumping from bed to table , climbing curtains, playing hide-n-seek on my books rack , and here  I am  losing all my power and senses to rescue myself, sitting on  kitchen slab with the laptop to scribble the scariest night experience as my blog ,  keep an eye on his whereabouts (just to ensure , he stays away from me)and insanely screaming . I know I can be heard and disturbing my neighbors and security guard’s  power/beauty  sleep as they have knocked/phoned me to enquire , is everything alright ? ( I wish it could have been , I terribly need a goodnight’s sleep).

They are so lost in each other , playing and having such a good time , that they just forget  to have their yummy dinner and power packed sleep. Both are in a hyper active energetic mode, enjoying their night out.

Now, what shall I do ? Ahhh .. not done . Atleast have some human …errr… rat … nopes …. Living being’s perception , leave this innocent , sweet girl alone ! Leave my room , permanently !!

Do you think , my fighting and defending measures are good but this mice couple is superb ? Please consider this fact that I am scared of rodents and dogs to death. If you wish to lie, then do it decently 🙂

PS : Love is a sweet poison, that has the power to overrule the actual poison (rat kill) . Lesson of the day.

Hoping to remain single and happily live alone.

Saakshi

 

If you have some sympathies with me , then please share the story , spread the word, and help a sweet, innocent, scared to death girl.

 

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Demand at your own risk !

I don’t have any special talent but I am just extremely demanding.

Candle light dinner, Meeting someone special and dancing on music. Yes this was my small wish list for my 22nd birthday. As the hour hand was approaching towards 12 my excitement was increasing. I finalized my wish list and prayed to god that they come true and till I got to know that I had annoyed him, so much in these 21 years that this time he planned  to teach me a lesson.

Once upon a time in that dark lovely night, ah 😦  forget that, it all started like this …………

I had cooked my favorite dish for dinner. It was 10 and I went inside the kitchen, as soon as I picked the plate. …ohhhh….. The light was gone. I came back to the shadows of my belongings which were almost – invisible, feeling suffocated and fatigue.  I felt sorry for myself. I was feeling hungry and could not eat. I waited for power to come back. But wait prolonged like a government’s 5 year plan. Finally I decided to have dinner. I made my way to kitchen and knocked my cute nose into its door. In anger I smashed the door back hard only to rebound and hit me again. I tried to calm myself down and reached kitchen, I searched for candle and match box, realizing why my parents always used to tell me to put the things on right places. Waving my hand in dark on the shelf I knocked down something  which fell with a big bang ,the very  next moment I felt some sticky thing all around my feet and the delicious smell which filled the kitchen confirmed that my favorite paneer butter tikka masala was on the  ground. I became still and sad. After a lot of search I finally found the candle and match box. I then had a last look at the scattered paneer butter tikka  masala . My mouth watered. But since child hood my mom told me not to eat anything fallen on ground.   I finally cooked a bowl of hot steamy Maggie and started eating. While I was swallowing the lumps, I thought of my first wish having a candle light dinner. God was just not listening to my prayers. I was not sure about the time (the bad time going) but I guess it was pretty close to mid night.

I suddenly realized I was not alone in the room. I remembered my second wish list ‘meeting someone special’, so holding my breath I was looking for the surprise to come up ; someone was there hiding himself and making nostalgic voices. Though candle was lighted, but I couldn’t see properly as I don’t have 6/6 vision and by the way who wears specks at night specially during  power cut, ahh L That someone looked very small, a bit rounded and damn fast.  It didn’t take much time for me to figure out that it was a mouse!!  That shameless mouse wanted to take advantage of me, by coming close to me or maybe it was paneer butter tikka masala  on my feet that was attracting him. I jumped back on bed but he followed like how  a bollywood villain follows a helpless pretty girl. Our movies are proof that in such situations help never comes in time.

To make this condition worse the hour hand of clock reached 12 and with that my cell phone started ringing the tune (dhinka chika , dhinka chika , ae ae ..ae , ae ae ..ae) .My  friends started calling me to wish happy birthday and this is how my third wish came true I was dancing on light music. I thought mouse was enjoying teasing and chasing me as I was hopping around my room like a mad girl doing step aerobics. The cause of my frustration was that I didn’t know whether it was sitting somewhere comfortably and watching me dancing or he was not even in the room !! and there I was wasting my energy.

And yes ladies and gentle man the phone continued ringing (dhinka chika , dhinka chika , ae ae ..ae , ae ae ..ae)  as my friends were competing , who will wish me first. I have never sweat that much even in my aerobic classes.

Hey ,  If you are afraid of mouse hire them as personal trainer, bet me I lost two kgs in that short interval , without  even making a dent in my pocket.

I thought neither god nor mouse was showing mercy but help do came after 15 minutes of dhinka chika dance ,  at last ,  Noida electricity board, finally returned my share of light after celebrating my birthday party at their HQ !

My beautiful , lovely  room looked like battle ground of Panipat. I first checked for that special one (who did wonders for me in such a short duration 😉 ) and I think it too left after having its share of fun.

That day I learned a secret lesson ………. And that stayed with me ……. and I am leaving a portion with you …….

Demand at your own risk.

Note : This was my speech for Area B2 Humorous Speech Contest, district 41. Sept 18,2011

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