Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “Noida”

When you are living alone …..

 My Project 4 Toastmasters Speech – Objective : How you say it ?

When you are living alone

Everyone has their own set of problems , like mother-in-law’s  bashing , metros running late , cribbing spouses /girlfriend / boyfriend , petrol prices rising , Mr  Dependable retiring from International Cricket , Clients draining your energy , Boss always asking for status , Figures on salary slips or the lack of it, post holi allergies , Lunch time and toastmasters meeting. Isn’t it?

  Well I am no exception; I narrate almost all of my problems with the starting line – When you are living alone. So with due apologies, I am cribbing again on this hot Friday afternoon.
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Hello Everyone.

When you are living alone

 When you are living alone, you feel confident, brave, big girl, independent and cool among your peers. Were you thinking the same? OH please, it’s all rubbish. Nothing in reality is like this. If you are planning to live alone there are numbers of problems crossing your way. Don’t worry I won’t be requiring any tissues in between, as I said earlier, I am a big girl…. will manage.

 Just need your kind attention to this subject matter.

 1. Living alone means, there is no body to help you occasionally with morning tea or to wake you up in case you are running late.

2. On those epic days when you managed to get up at the crack of dawn and go for morning walk, you have to carry keys with you

3.   You have to do all the washing, cleaning, dishes and laundry by yourself. Trust me this ruthless society won’t let you breathe if they come to know about your maid, as per them I am of perfect marriageable age and I should excel in my home management training otherwise my future in-laws or my future husband will kick me out.

4. There will be no one to assure whether you are looking presentable or not before stepping out. You are forced to be dependent upon what’s app 🙂

5. Though you are organized and have a well decorated place, you may have a habit of throwing washed or to be washed clothes on the not so usable bean bag. Take my free advice; avoid this habit, just in case, friends drop by in the evening for a movie or coffee. Your neat – clean – sophisticated image will vanish at the first sight.

6. You have to keep extra cutlery and dish wares for the guests; and you have to clean them too.

7. The most irritated person in your life would be vegetable seller who  has a smirk, because you pointedly  pick quarter kg of onion – tomatoes , 2 capsicums, 4 cucumbers and request for a half cauliflower. If you happen to own a fridge, there would surely be a lemon which used to be an orange few weeks ago.

8. In case you are terrorized by lizards or rodents, God is the only one who is at your service only if you religiously remind Him this task every morning in your prayers. After all there is just one!

9. Demonstrating your responsible person, you have to be extra cautious while hanging your wet clothes out on terrace , if it rains or is there any hurricane , oh we have storms in Delhi NCR, then you have to put all the effort again.

10. If you have any sick feeling, book yourself some place either at one of your close friends or call someone to take you home at the earliest. Being alone and falling sick is the toughest trauma one needs to go through.

11. You are prone to take genuinely unplanned casual leaves due to some electrician, plumber sometimes carpenter too is visiting your place.

12. You are forced to give your office address to call all the posts , so nothing fishy can be done with your life , ah boring.

13. You are deprived of blaming and cursing your roommate for the huge electricity bill and that’s not fair.

 Now , if you  are still Home alone 1 , 2 and 3 fan you just had a sneak peak to what might come your way , one fine day , you wish to live alone.

Love,

Saakshi

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Love is a sweet poison

Single and alone. You must be reading this article because you probably are either in love and bearing its sweet side effects or you are single and alone and reading this article to boost your self esteem. I am sorry, friends, this is rather something more like my unfortunate (read, forceful) love story.

I proudly say that I am single and I live alone. I am big girl 🙂  . But now, I doubt.

A stalker, or I must say the crazy lover is back in my life , the one who once allegedly ruined my birthday (demand at your own risk) is in love – hate – love relationship with me. If you forgot – that’s THE scary mouse.
Mouse

I can’t believe, he is back!! buhuuuuuu ,can someone hear me crying. He must have read my previous posts where I was talking about love; and assumed that I needed someone by my side.

Trying his best to convince me, that it is okay, we both can share my studio apartment. He, obviously won’t be paying any rent, electricity bills (oh why would he, he is adaptable to environment, doesn’t own any mobile phone or laptop, and yuck, never shave!) , water bills (I wonder when he last had a bath)  etc etc. He is even confident, that this (he would be , wait , he is actually , my new roommate) will remain a secret from my landlord and there is no need to add his credentials on rent agreement. He promises me that he will be entirely dependent on whatever I will feed him , be it anything edible human food item , or my clothes/curtains/beddings etc . Finally he is signing up the deal, assuring me of a hidden bonus – hygiene factor. This is very simple, if he remains, oh I am so sorry, If he stays here, then I have to have clean my dishes before using them 😦

Do you guys think, he is successful in closing this deal? Nopes. I am in no mood to give up. I am fighter and this place belongs to me. Any outsider/refugee needs to go out, miles far away so that I can enjoy MY life, MY place peacefully. After all, I am working day-night, not just to earn some brown bread high on nutrition low on fat butter, but this serene place too. Experience, and probably some researches would say so, it is bit easier to find a job than a home.

Nothing derogatory, size does matter, It will be me who is going to rule, I can give a fight to a mouse. ( Can  I??? 😐 ) . My bad luck, I was a science student and studied Engineering, so can’t recall my biology lessons in school. It must be something like larger the heart the more someone is at risk of attack.

This someone, is me 😦

This mouse seems to be descendent of some fighter, or I should rather say a warrior! Whatever I do, he takes the game. Here comes the communication gap. He is trying to impress by surprising me, where as the truth is, I am more scared by such activities.

Current scenario, we are practically sharing my studio flat. When I am out at work, he enjoys his dive from the window to my bed, then to my side table and then lost . Lost because I am unable to find where else does he go afterwards. He do loves me (I can’t believe I am saying that ), he has never disturbed anything , my clothes are in good state , no itsy bitys bites (thankfully) and nothing is misplaced. When I am back , he obediently gets back into his hiding place and doesn’t bother me.

So , you must be wondering that what is making me so annoyed at him ? Tonight, he has a guest; one of his bulky macho type’s mouse2 has joined him. He (mouse2) is not aware of the rules and regulations we have silently agreed upon. He is too ugly. I apologize to animal welfare associations for insulting a little ( little !!!!) creature , but I am helpless.

Though I am still waiting for my yearly appraisal results and desperately waiting to know the incremented salary, no matter it’s being late , I tried to delight the mice couple  by treating them with  dropping extra amount of cheese on a big bread slice and topping it with oregano in the mouse trap and keeping rat kill cubes at all their hangout points in my flat. I know I am witty 🙂 . Hope they will help.

Mouse2  is jumping from bed to table , climbing curtains, playing hide-n-seek on my books rack , and here  I am  losing all my power and senses to rescue myself, sitting on  kitchen slab with the laptop to scribble the scariest night experience as my blog ,  keep an eye on his whereabouts (just to ensure , he stays away from me)and insanely screaming . I know I can be heard and disturbing my neighbors and security guard’s  power/beauty  sleep as they have knocked/phoned me to enquire , is everything alright ? ( I wish it could have been , I terribly need a goodnight’s sleep).

They are so lost in each other , playing and having such a good time , that they just forget  to have their yummy dinner and power packed sleep. Both are in a hyper active energetic mode, enjoying their night out.

Now, what shall I do ? Ahhh .. not done . Atleast have some human …errr… rat … nopes …. Living being’s perception , leave this innocent , sweet girl alone ! Leave my room , permanently !!

Do you think , my fighting and defending measures are good but this mice couple is superb ? Please consider this fact that I am scared of rodents and dogs to death. If you wish to lie, then do it decently 🙂

PS : Love is a sweet poison, that has the power to overrule the actual poison (rat kill) . Lesson of the day.

Hoping to remain single and happily live alone.

Saakshi

 

If you have some sympathies with me , then please share the story , spread the word, and help a sweet, innocent, scared to death girl.

 

I See

My Toastmasters Speech – Project 2

I See

Seen people with spectacles? –

Fancy frames thick / thin lenses.

Well, there are so many like this in this room, even I am wearing my secondary eyes. You must be thinking simply how silly the question was!

Never mind, we all know an optician makes these spectacles, based on test results either done by himself or a qualified eye doctor, in medical terms an optometrist. The idea is to make the person wearing these see with clarity, taking away any lack of appropriate focussedness.

Ladies and gentlemen, greetings for the day, I hope, I wish you all, be in best of your health (coz somehow I am not) , in best of your spirits and on the top having best of your vision.

My question to you is, do we need just clarity of vision?  I consulted my doctor 6 months back and got my numbers corrected. But will these pair of glasses ensure that I will see things correctly, if my mind is filled with prejudice and close mindedness. Will I be able to keep up with the pace with so many intellectual people around, even if I choose to keep a narrow outlook?

The answer is an obvious- NO. This restrictedness of not one’s eye sight but one’s vision distorts ones perception and brings in a refractive error.  

We are all the prisoners of our own perceptions. I have a short story about the results of being locked up behind the bars of worry, doubt and fear or better to say a chained mind of its own perception.

I walked around the counter at Mc Donald’s to get a straw for my drink and found a woman frantically mopping up her spilled coffee. She was using the flimsy tissue paper that was used for wrapping burger so the mopping up process wasn’t working well. I reached for the napkins and started helping her. She looked up in surprise that I had found the napkins saying that she had looked for them but didn’t see them. Her comment was “I couldn’t see.”

She was right. She couldn’t see Why not? Because of her present state of mind, she might have panicked or been in a hurry, and this blocked her vision. She was not able to see the napkins that were kept in plain sight. It was a state of mind of “worry, rush, and fear.”
In the prison of our own perceptions, we can’t see for what we are looking, fear motivates our actions. Each of us has our own personal prison created out of all that we have been taught and accepted about the worldview. Perception does rule!

For example if someone inquires what time it is. My hands rush to my mobile phone. I don’t care that I am wearing a nice watch.

Let’s have another example how many time have you searched for your glasses and found it at place least expected, your head.

 Or what do you think is the reason behind biased political views and favoritism. Many times our upbringing, our thought patterns rule our decision making and views. We behave as if we are not able to see. As a matter of fact, we do not, if our mind is blocked with obstacles.  Many a times, the uniqueness of the system in which we are caught, forces us to see erroneously. Our unsymmetrical upbringing, different backgrounds, may prohibit us from seeing clearly. In the struggle between reality and perception, most of the times, it is the latter that emerges paramount.

Folks,  “Our Perception magnifies things that we believe in”

 Let’s all break out of prison now!

I am a Business Analyst my job is to first ask questions, get the answers and then start working on them.

I have one more question to you. Look at the below picture.

These are two horizontal lines.

Horizontal lines

Horizontal lines

Which one is longer?

Many of you may find the above one longer. But, you will be surprised to know that, both are equivalent in length.

My perception says, the first denotes the open mind when you are able to see broad horizons and the second, a closed, restricted, narrow mind. So in the end, I am repeating myself, Perception Rules!

Lastly I would get a smile, when someone from the audience says, “I see”, as an acknowledgement of my speech. It’s a relief that we all share same perception J

2011 Year End To-Do List

I am an optimist who always has a list ready for ‘what all needs to be done’ in short ‘To DO list’. Like everyone I too had made few  new year resolutions some 11 months back , when we were about to welcome 2011.

Honestly, I don’t even remember now, what resolutions I made, except few.

Listing my To- Do Items before 2011 ends in a no particular order.

  1. I want to learn driving. It would be tough task for me owing to Noida traffic ethics. But this is the time I should learn; I am saving money to buy a car for myself, from a long time now. The more I postpone my driving classes, more I will be far from my beast!! ( I will name my first car THE Beast ).
  2. Post one random piece of writing weekly on my blog. I have so many things to share , and I do scribble them , but somehow feel either they are too controversial or shocking for my friends , as it doesn’t come from the person they know (well , I don’t agree with them 🙂 ).
  3. Give a more professional look to my blog. Need to focus and spent some dedicated time for learning WordPress. My excuse ready – time crunch.
  4. Get rid of my stinking mood swings. Woman and Mood swings! Do I need to explain it? Even women get irritated, God save men.
  5. Practice/Learn Photoshop .  Halloween has gone , but my camera doesn’t think so , still portraying me one of them. Dearest photoshop , I need your help and magic of airbrushing.
  6. Get myself enrolled in MBA classes. Oh , I am still confused what to choose  – International Business or Entrepreneurship .
  7. Reduce 3 – 5 kgs and those extra inches of flab. Oh yes , yes I agree women and weight loss tamasha (women and weight loss drama) !! I am no exception 😉
  8. Control my typo errors . When Google and Microsoft Office suite have such a wonderful spell check tool , why don’t I use them ? Enough of embarrassment.
  9. Money Money . Need to touch the desired goal I made at the year starting, in my saving account , I am just short of 4 month savings . ahhh 😦
  10. Wish to finish 3 Toastmasters CC Projects. Already completed project 1 , wish to complete 2-3 more projects.

I don’t want to put any more down so as not to overwhelm myself, so I chose the most important ones that i would ‘like’ to get finished before 2011 ends. If not. Backup Plan :2012 is waiting.

Demand at your own risk !

I don’t have any special talent but I am just extremely demanding.

Candle light dinner, Meeting someone special and dancing on music. Yes this was my small wish list for my 22nd birthday. As the hour hand was approaching towards 12 my excitement was increasing. I finalized my wish list and prayed to god that they come true and till I got to know that I had annoyed him, so much in these 21 years that this time he planned  to teach me a lesson.

Once upon a time in that dark lovely night, ah 😦  forget that, it all started like this …………

I had cooked my favorite dish for dinner. It was 10 and I went inside the kitchen, as soon as I picked the plate. …ohhhh….. The light was gone. I came back to the shadows of my belongings which were almost – invisible, feeling suffocated and fatigue.  I felt sorry for myself. I was feeling hungry and could not eat. I waited for power to come back. But wait prolonged like a government’s 5 year plan. Finally I decided to have dinner. I made my way to kitchen and knocked my cute nose into its door. In anger I smashed the door back hard only to rebound and hit me again. I tried to calm myself down and reached kitchen, I searched for candle and match box, realizing why my parents always used to tell me to put the things on right places. Waving my hand in dark on the shelf I knocked down something  which fell with a big bang ,the very  next moment I felt some sticky thing all around my feet and the delicious smell which filled the kitchen confirmed that my favorite paneer butter tikka masala was on the  ground. I became still and sad. After a lot of search I finally found the candle and match box. I then had a last look at the scattered paneer butter tikka  masala . My mouth watered. But since child hood my mom told me not to eat anything fallen on ground.   I finally cooked a bowl of hot steamy Maggie and started eating. While I was swallowing the lumps, I thought of my first wish having a candle light dinner. God was just not listening to my prayers. I was not sure about the time (the bad time going) but I guess it was pretty close to mid night.

I suddenly realized I was not alone in the room. I remembered my second wish list ‘meeting someone special’, so holding my breath I was looking for the surprise to come up ; someone was there hiding himself and making nostalgic voices. Though candle was lighted, but I couldn’t see properly as I don’t have 6/6 vision and by the way who wears specks at night specially during  power cut, ahh L That someone looked very small, a bit rounded and damn fast.  It didn’t take much time for me to figure out that it was a mouse!!  That shameless mouse wanted to take advantage of me, by coming close to me or maybe it was paneer butter tikka masala  on my feet that was attracting him. I jumped back on bed but he followed like how  a bollywood villain follows a helpless pretty girl. Our movies are proof that in such situations help never comes in time.

To make this condition worse the hour hand of clock reached 12 and with that my cell phone started ringing the tune (dhinka chika , dhinka chika , ae ae ..ae , ae ae ..ae) .My  friends started calling me to wish happy birthday and this is how my third wish came true I was dancing on light music. I thought mouse was enjoying teasing and chasing me as I was hopping around my room like a mad girl doing step aerobics. The cause of my frustration was that I didn’t know whether it was sitting somewhere comfortably and watching me dancing or he was not even in the room !! and there I was wasting my energy.

And yes ladies and gentle man the phone continued ringing (dhinka chika , dhinka chika , ae ae ..ae , ae ae ..ae)  as my friends were competing , who will wish me first. I have never sweat that much even in my aerobic classes.

Hey ,  If you are afraid of mouse hire them as personal trainer, bet me I lost two kgs in that short interval , without  even making a dent in my pocket.

I thought neither god nor mouse was showing mercy but help do came after 15 minutes of dhinka chika dance ,  at last ,  Noida electricity board, finally returned my share of light after celebrating my birthday party at their HQ !

My beautiful , lovely  room looked like battle ground of Panipat. I first checked for that special one (who did wonders for me in such a short duration 😉 ) and I think it too left after having its share of fun.

That day I learned a secret lesson ………. And that stayed with me ……. and I am leaving a portion with you …….

Demand at your own risk.

Note : This was my speech for Area B2 Humorous Speech Contest, district 41. Sept 18,2011

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