Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “Relationships”

The Quest of the Sparrows

English: Book cover for the book The Quest of ...

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It was some 5 hour journey during the day today with un-limited questions fighting in my mind and few medical reports and co-incidentally bank statement; which gives mirror image of my present state. I am frustrated and annoyed with myself. I am doing a bit for myself and lives a happy serene life , but at times (this comes at a frequency of 6 months) feel unstable and very string vibes of something missing.

Just trying to distract myself , I bought a book to read while traveling. Never knew reading just 20 pages will calm me down .

Thought I should share some excerpts with you. It could have been a  sin , if I choose to keep it with myself.

Book – The Quest of the Sparrows

Authors – Kartik Sharma & Ravi ‘Nirmal’ Sharma

We live in times when media is the king. It’s only interested in financial figure, records and achievements. Spirituality isn’t an object of desire, or even in the headlines; still, you are here. I bow to your spirit, which believes in what no one has seen and marches to a destination that appears to be even harder to achieve than the biggest material goal.

Most human beings search for eternal happiness. Yet, why is it elusive? Most people fail to achieve it by following idealism, spiritualism, capitalism, materialism, socialism or other-isms. Why do they meet disillusionment?

Why does a sparrow, which knows no “-isms”, live without the worries which accompany human beings? What is it we manage throughout our complex lives? Merely survival. Hey, something is wrong – because the bird does the same, effortlessly. So what’s the big difference between us and the helpless sparrow? Don’t you think we’re missing something? What is it?

Forget the sparrow for a moment. Think of all the people in this world. They go to their workplaces in the morning and then return in the evening, like swinging pendulums. But does a pendulum swing aimlessly away and towards the centre? Or does it personify something more , like time? That depends on what you associate with life? Is it aimless or does it have a higher purpose? Like pendulum, it swings between two states – birth and death. What gives it meaning? Can anyone answer ?

The divine . One answer , could be . But that’s a lofty ideal for us beginners. Think of something more practical. Look around you; is everything the same as it was a century ago? What has happened in all these years?

Evolution. Probably ,another answer. Yes . Between birth and death is evolving. That’s the higher meaning of our lives. But what do most people do ? They achieve, lose, feel happy or sad, celebrate and mourn. They merely move to and fro like a ball of a pendulum, with hardly any peace. Even among believers, everyone is religious but very few are truly spiritual. Is it all linked or unrelated? Think over it. Find the connection, and I think we will be able to solve the riddle of life.

Stay Blessed,

Saakshi

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Thank God it’s Friday

I was trying to open my eyes at wee hours of the beautiful Friday morning. I was at bliss!!

The sunbeams through window were brightening up the room. The moment, wow, it was so pure, sigh!!

I happily slid outside my warm blanket, put on the slippers and in next few seconds I was out at the terrace. Experiencing the divine feeling of something, which we, rather ignorantly, say – Good Morning.

Flashback: Thurs – Day and the Night

Not just as always, but slightly extra overloaded, pathetic, tiring day at work. The overlap UK and US hours or our Indian evening hours , which make me terribly think of myself as some local call center employee (with no intention to offend) rather than a busy IT professional. I am sick and tired, longing for a peaceful goodnight’s sleep.

 3 conference calls, 2 follow up calls, 1 team meeting , 3 project deliverables, 180 ingoing and outgoing e-mails , 7-8 chat windows , 6 personal calls , 5 cups coffee , no breakfast , lunch of a sparrow , one last crispy piece of spring role , few custom action failures , excel sheets with annoying macros (project reports, they say) , phone battery dying and crying for help (m gone deaf 😦), meeting invite for previous date (that was embarrassing), arrangements to rescue Holi celebrations, never going migraine and on and on …..This you call a day, which ends when you realize you are the last one on the floor. Leave; call it a day, now!!!

 There is one more element, a vital one – dinner. Veg Chinese Sizzler, with green mint dip. Loved it 🙂

Back home, hit the bed and I am dead. Needless to say, it was early A.M timings.

Back to Present: Friday Morning

 Leisure of a blissful, beautiful morning! I live on the top floor of this building with a terrace facing state highway and a park. Saw senior neighbors practicing yoga and chunk of ladies taking rounds of their morning walks, a kid washing the cars , some punctual professionals ready in their formal attire carrying their bags waiting at the bus stop, and a tree with long leaves of the shades of yellow and orange, scattered everywhere on the road, pavement, on the roof of cars and park. Strangely, I fell in love with this autumn feeling at this time of spring.

Back to my room, my bed, ohh , I am back to my laziness , zzzzzzz sleeping. The one I desired for.

 This time dawn seems to be a struggle, I woke up at P.M timings. Wondering why the alarm fails to bring me back from dead. Still in process of waking up , I made efforts to find my soul mate , that was supposed to be next to me , near my pillow. (Let me remind all, I call my mobile phone as my soul mate). He was almost dead. Oh, poor baby, more than me, he needed a life. I am a good host. I rushed to my desk, got the equipment, and put the soul mate to his ventilator. Wishing him speedy recovery, I made myself a big cup of green tea and start making my today’s To-Do list. (I am old-fashioned , paranoid, have this habit). Voila 🙂 🙂 🙂 , nothing, just one Toastmaster’s Meeting. Hurray !! 

Thank God it’s Friday.

 

Thank God it's Friday

Thank God it's Friday ; Image source - My work desktop screen shot.

 

 No deliverables, No Client Calls, No deadlines, ignoring the fact its 2nd of the month , no bills to pay , no , nothing.

 Yeah !!

Till now , it’s really been a Friday. I am enjoying , a bit sleepy , a bit tired but chirpy , bubbly playing with outlook , e-mails pouring in , e-mails shooting out. What more can I ask for, week long vacation approved , with few kind words of appreciation.

Yeah !! Fingers Crossed, I still have to travel back home , some 5 hrs road journey in a state roadways bus. I wish the rest of the day remains the same.

 As SRK would say “Din to abhi baki hai mere dost.”

 

 Love ,

 Saakshi

Best 15 love songs on my playlist (Side B : Hindi)

Here , is the anticipated top 15 love songs (my favorite) playlist in Hindi.

Actually this list is endless (I have to stop somewhere!), I  grew up listening to these hindi songs. This list consists of songs that pronounce endless and selfless love.

Needless to say , the list is not in any particular order.

  1. Rehna tu –Film : Delhi 6

 ð  A beautiful song by Oscar winning A R Rehman. Try it on a  guitar or a violin or on the keyboard , it only spreads love.

 “haath thaam chalana ho, toh dono ke daaye haath sang kaise,ek daaya hoga ek baaya hoga,tham le, haath yeh thaam le, chalna hai sang thaam le,rehna tu, hai jaisa tu,thoda sa dard tu, thoda sukun”  

 2. Pehla Nasha –Film : Jo Jeeta Wohi SIkandar

 ð  Classic Song. Being in love means – day dreaming, jumping over  benches, swinging in air, throwing  notes in air, smiling and dancing like never before; living in the world but lost in love.

This one dedicated to all first time lovers 🙂

Udta hi firoon in hawaon mein kahin, Ya main jhool jaoon in ghataon mein kahin, Ek kar doon aasmaan zameen, Kaho yaaron kya karoon kya nahin……… Usne baat ki kuchh aise dhang se, Sapne de gaya vo hazaaron range ke, Reh jaoon jaise main haar ke, Aur choome vo mujhe pyaar se ” 

3. Suno na –Film : Jhankar Beats

 ð  When telepathy grows stronger than words.

 “Door ho kar bhi door tum nahin ho, paas ho lekin paas kyon nahin ho,….tanha tanha sama, mehki mehki hawa

 4. Dil kya kare  – Remixed version : Shaan  (Film : Julie)

 ð  My favorite since childhood,. Original is good, but the remixed version by Shaan is awesome.

dil kyaa kare jab kisee se, kisee ko pyaar ho jaaye, jaane kahaa kab kisee ko, kisee se pyaar ho jaaye,unchee  unchee diwaaron see, is duniyaan kee rasme, naa kuchh tere bas mein jyoolee, naa kuchh mere bas me” 

5. Deewana tera – Singer : Sonu Nigam

 ð  Sonu Nigam gave back to back romantic albums – Deewana , Jaan , Yaad etc, this is my favorite.  Sing like …Deeeewannaaaa teraaaaaaaa tujhe hi bulaeeee …..

 “  Yaad teri aane lagi,jaan jaane lagi hai, Ho ke juda kyun tu mujhe, aazmane lagi hai, Yeh bhi to soch le dil hai sheesha mera, Jaane kab toot jaaye

 6. Woh pehli baar – Film : Pyaar mei kabhi kabhi

 ð  Oh , that college love !! 🙂 🙂  I am sure, it would be on favorite list of most of you. Just walk hand in hand, while listening to the song .

 “Teri aankhon mein jannat basake chala, Teri zulfon ki chhaaon mein chalta chala, Tere neinon mein chein tere labh pe khushi, Tujhko hi main mohabbat bana ke chala

 7. Pal pal dil ke paas tum rehti ho – Film : Black Mail

ð  I love old songs , all of Kishore Kumar’s and Mohd . Rafi’s but this number , has something special 🙂  Add some personal touch to it , dedicate this to your beloved on a long drive.

 “Har Shyam Aankhon Par,Tera Aanchal Lehraye,Har Raat Yaadon Ki,Baarat Le AayeMaein Saans Leta Hoon,Teri Khushboo Aati Hai,Ek Mehka Mehka Sa ,Paigham Laati HaiMeri Dil Ki Dhadkan Bhi, Tere Geet Gaati Hai, Pal Pal … 

8. Tum ho – Film : Rockstar

ð  No doubt Mohit Chauhan has given incredible romantic numbers since silk route (remember : dooba dooba rehta hun) , this track from Rockstar, touches my heart. First 9 sec …awesome….divine.

 “Tum ho..,Mere liye,Mere liye,Ho tum yoon..,Khud ko mein,Haar gaya tumko,Tumko main jeeta hoon……..,Kahin se..,Kahin ko..bhi,Aao bewajah chale,Pooche bina kisi se,Hum mile..,Bandishein naa rahin,Koi baaki..,Tum ho..”

 9. Dil Ibaadat  – Film : Tum Mile

 ð  It’s my observation ,Emran Hashmi’s songs are always far too good. This one is more realistic and appropriate for all ages. Feel young  🙂

Baahon mein de bas jaane, Seene mein de chup jaane, Tujh bhin main jaaoon toh kahaan, Tujhse hai mujhko pane, Yaadon ke woh nazraane, Ik jinpe hak ho bas mera

 10. Guzarish – Film : Gajni

 ð  When this film was released, my cousin says it’s an essay . To me it’s an ecstasy.

Kehde tu haan to zindagi,Jharno se choot ke hassegi,Moti honge moti rahon mein..Yeah yeah yeah,Tu meri adhoori pyaas pyaas

 11. Tum se hi – Film : Jab we met

 ð  Want that spark back. For  soulmates; looking into each other eyes , cherishing the moments in each others arms 🙂

Aadha Sa Wada Kabhi, Aadhe Se Jayada Kabhi, Jee Chaahe Kar Lu Is Tarah Wafa Ka, Chhode Na Chhoote Kabhi, Tode Na Tute Kabhi,Jo Dhaga Tumse Jud Gaya Wafa Ka, Main Tera Sarmaya Hoon, Jo Main Ban Paya Hoon, Tumse Hi

 12. Baaatein kuch ankahee si – Film : Life in a metro

 ð  Looking for a way to express your undying love …. This will help you.

 “keh de mujhse dil mein kya hai, aisa bhi kya guroor, tujhko bhi toh ho raha hai thoda asar jaroor, yeh khaamoshi jine na de, koi toh baat ho, wo wo o o o o o…….., shaayad yahi hai pyaar 
 

13. . Hey Shona – Film :  Tara Rum Pum

 ð  For that sugar coated confession of love 😉

 “Tumhein Pata To Hoga, Tum Hi Pe Main Fida Hoon, Tumhein Hai Jab Se Chaha, Hawaon Mein Udta Hoon, Tum Hi Mere har Pal Mein, Tum Aaj Mein Tum Kal Mein, Hey Shona Hey Shona “ 

14.   Kehta hai pal pal tumse  – Film : Major Saab

ð   The simplest way to say it all.

Hum Tum Tum Hum Ban Ke Rahein, Hum Raaz Humsafar, Shikwa Kare Na Koi, Ek Duje Se Umr Bhar, Pyaar Hamara Ho Aisa Ke, Dekhe Ye Zamaana, Pyaar Kiya To Nibhana

 15: Kuch na kaho , kuch bhi na kaho – Film : 1942 A Love Story

ð  Have you ever heard , non verbal communications strengthen  the bond.

Aur is pal mein koi nahin hai, Bas ek main hoon, bas ek tum ho, Kuch na kaho, kuch bhi na kaho, Kya kehna hai, kya sunna hai, Mujhko pata hai, tumko pata hai, Samay ka yeh pal tham sa gaya hai, Aur is pal mein koi nahin hai, Bas ek main hoon, bas ek tum ho

 PS : For non hindi readers, I tried to translate these  lyrics in english, but I stopped myself. I realised I am ruining the beauty of songs. Few words (in different languages) depict emotions more strongly.

Love,

Saakshi

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The pursuit of sadness

Have you ever experienced such a feeling that by each passing moment it feels like something is terribly missing? Something isn’t right. Have you ever faced this miserable –sinful feeling that everyone around you is in a situation just because of you.

I am in such a phase for the past few days. I know I am committing a crime. It’s only my musing power that has gone beyond its acceptable limit and is the culprit of my pitiful condition.  I prefer to remain silent, full of self guilt, confused, in a state of emptiness, hopelessness.. ..Simply sad (you can imagine any bollywood movie scene) losing my beautiful life’s battle to my worries and fear. It’s so easy to fall into feelings of despair.

 Why am I like this…One day I am so cheerful and happy like a sunshine, the other day sad, crying, despair  ? (cut short chinta mani)

Sadness and happiness are two relative words (oh come on everybody knows this, what’s new?) .We , homosapiens!  Always try to protect ourselves from sadness, run away from the things that have the potential to hit back at us, make us feel as if we are powerless to change these circumstances.  It’s an irony; we worry and fear for things that make us happy. We remain in doubt whether they will happen. Why don’t we simply make them happen? 

It’s our time, It’s our life, we can do what we like, for the price of a smile, why do we cry?

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

I love drama. I am in love with life and have full of emotions. I am a genius of sadness, can immerse myself deeply into it, can separate numerous strands. I am a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum. I am sad; at times I am like this.

Am I sad? Am I in pain? Yes I am. I should be rather grateful, I feel alive . Else , its just work all day, moving from one task to the other . I should be happy, I am alive as a human not a machine. I got a reason to celebrate myself and take a break.

Life is a perfect balance. (Thee has designed it like this way, and how come He can go wrong!) There are two beams which depict two phases of our life in a cyclic way. At a given point of time, only one is heavier.

As per my observations (I haven’t lived even half of average life boosted by experts) One beam is for feelings of joy, confidence, strong self esteem and feeling on cloud 9. Another beam is for despair, a lack of finding meaning/answer/purpose of life. Sometimes walking back home I realize how miraculous is the feeling of being alive and blessed with what a wonderful gift –Life , the most undefined , unwritten , unpredicted and  unknown. There are days when the same path let me wonder about the disasters in an instant ! Money, health, relationships, friends everything (surprisingly, they all go off track together) act like a black hole; pulling me to their indefinite depth and making me lost to nowhere.

In midst of such circumstances we curse God, ‘where is HE  while all this is happening to me? ‘ How many of us have actually got the answer ? The same beautiful, precious Life seems to be a brutal struggle.

There is one more characteristic of Life – it’s uncertain. We often tend to forget this. It’s our mistake not His.

Sometimes we do not achieve what we set out to do, or something we have had or achieved is taken from us. When the world about us changes, particularly if it is sudden or dramatic, we must adapt to everything. The world is then not what we thought. We are not what we thought we were.. The old picture has been taken away, the old world we knew  that gave us comfort is gone, there is no choice but to form a new world, a new picture of how we think things are.

 

Stay Happy , keep smilling 🙂

Saakshi

PS :  “Don’t be ashamed to weep; ’tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
Brian Jacques, Taggerung

 

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5 types of women , men don’t like

I just can’t help myself doing the sinful job of Ctrl + C , Ctrl+ V and then posting this article for you all to read.

I am amused/shocked to read this article in Times of India and thought of sharing with you. I do agree with the stuff but still not fully convinced. My woman ego can justify few things that are simply wrapped in shady covers and presented negatively.

Go through the article below and please let me know your view points (you never know how many women (may include me) along with men in their life would be blessed !!)

5 types of women , men can’t stand

Here is the lowdown on the personality types men don’t like at all.

Cribber: Women who crib, talk negatively and belittle people are a great turn-off. Sure we all have our bags full of complaints, but it is one thing to complain once in a while, and it’s something else to crib big time 24×7 about every issue or every person one comes across. Men can’t understand why a woman has to crib and bitch all the time. Either you do something about the issue or stop complaining – it’s as simple as that.

Weight-watcher: ‘Oh can’t have beer, it has 150 calories’, ‘I must hit the gym everyday’ – if these are your favourite catchwords, you have trouble coming your way. There is only so much diet, exercise regimens men can take and if you are too conscious, a man is likely to be exasperated. Women need to know when to give in ‘without throwing their weight around’!

In-law basher: Agreed only the fortunate are blessed with a good set of in-laws. So if you are not one of the lucky ones, will you constantly bash them up verbally? They are somebody’s parents and if you don’t have anything nice to say something about them, don’t say anything. How does that sound?

Worker bee: If you are buzzing nineteen to a dozen only about the presentations you have to make for the boss, deadlines, colleagues, HR head and the office janitor – it’s obvious you have nothing else to talk about. A man may want to know about your interests, your views on him, and more, but you prefer to hide behind ‘work’ all the time. If you want a man, any man actually – get a life first.

Agony aunt: There are some women who constantly feel they are an ‘advisory body’. They feel it is their business to hear out the whines of everyone around them and suggest suitable solutions. They are so deeply involved in this part-time job that they inadvertently sound like they are advising you as well. Nobody wants to date a mom, you know.

waiting for your views …….

Saakshi

Embracing the new

Sometimes people come into our life and we have a hitch that they were meant to be there, to serve some purpose, teach us a lesson, or to help figure out who we want to become. We never know who these people may be. May be a long-lost friend ‘friends’ via Facebook , or a stranger who seems to be always in a hurry each morning standing at the bus stop. But when we notice them, we know that very moment they will affect us in some profound way.

People we met and share success and downfall with, help to create who we are and we want to become.

Strange isn’t it?

When they love, they embrace us, when they hurt or betray, they teach us the importance of trust and hard meaning of being cautious. A moment of love, affection, and care make us calm,composed and confident. It fills our days with joy and happiness. A betrayal makes us cold,frustrated and shocked.

We humans are very sensitive yet we say we are strong and move on easily, knowing deep down that our emotions are fragile. Now, how we know that? We feel compelled to stay on a rigid pre – chosen path for our lives, even if we don’t want to. And why is it so? It revolves around our reclusiveness (which we generously say ‘self defense’), or simply we are afraid to experience something different from our routine.

Embracing the new in life is not about making unwise risks, but about taking chances for the quality of our lives. The new may not bring fame and fortune, but happiness we were longing for.

I read somewhere that people are like onions. Onions!!! Every now and then we have to peel off a layer to reveal a new facet of theirs’ , just to mention with every layer comes the tears , more importantly it adds a critical flavor to everything you do , if you do bad it will stink. Peeling an onion symbolizes new beginnings, afraid of tears but revealing a fresh new skin, ready to take onthe world!!

PS: Give every man thy ear but few thy voice. – Shakespeare.

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