Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “success”

Resolving Conflicts

Just Imagine :

You’ve just arrived to your workstation which you share with a colleague, and it looks as if it’s going to be another frustrating day.

Your side of the office is neat as a pin and incredibly well organized. You take care not to talk loudly when you’re on the phone, so that you don’t disturb your office mate.

Your colleague, however, is the exact opposite. Empty cups and crushed biscuits wrappers litter his side of the office. He sometimes puts the music on while he’s working, which breaks your concentration. And hell breaks when he is chit chatting with others while you are on call.  Stationary items at your side of office are often misplaced, at times you dread yourself coming into the office every day, simply because you don’t like sharing your space with your colleague. He drives you crazy, and you often argue.

Can you recognize that there’s conflict between you two because the two of you have completely different working styles.

Let us try to understand this..

What’s Conflict?

It’s the difference of opinion with two or more people, real or perceived that is not resolved, worst if someone is getting aggressive.

All of us experience one or the other conflicts at work, personal life and even in Toastmasters. Members can have disagreements over programming, logistics, meeting styles and people.

Conflict is not always bad. When it is addressed and resolved, conflict often leads to positive changes, increased productivity, better decisions, innovation and bonding among people. Adversely, unresolved conflict can lead to poor productivity, low morale, distrust, and failure.

A leader must know how to handle conflict.  He/ She can choose to ignore it, complain about it, blame someone for it, or try to deal with it through hints and suggestions; or can be direct, clarify what is going on, and attempt to reach a resolution through common techniques like negotiation or compromise.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is what we do to identify and address conflict in a mature and respectful way.

Why there are conflicts?

Root cause of all conflict and complaints – unmet expectations. Unmet Expectations from others!

Lets us take a closer look when and where conflicts occur.

a)      Conflicting resources

ð  We all need access to certain resources –  office supplies, meeting rooms, scheduling conference calls via desk phones. There are n no of employees and limited resources , hence their needs can be at odds.

 b)      Conflicting Styles

ð  Everyone works differently according to  his/her individual need and personality. For instance some people love the thrill of getting things done at the last minute, while others need the structure of strict deadlines to perform. Whenever there is a difference in working style it may call a conflict.

 c)       Conflicting Perception

 All of us see the world through our own lens, and difference in perceptions of events cause conflict. For instance HR Work from Home policy. There will be employees happy with such a policy being strictly followed, whereas there may be few who are not that pleased. Their perception – why it bothers so much to HR when by any means the work is done. Office politics comes in this section.

d)      Conflicting Goals.

Sometimes we have conflicting goals in our work. We all work on projects which involve multiple stakeholders.  One of them may ensure the high quality service is top priority but another stakeholder may focus on regular project updates and statistics. It’s sometimes quite difficult to reconcile the two!

e)  Conflicting Pressures

We often have to depend on our colleagues to get our work done. However, what happens when you need a report from your colleague by noon, and he’s already preparing a different report for someone else by that same deadline?

f). Different Personal Values

ð   Imagine that your boss has just asked you to perform a task that conflicts with your ethical standards. Do you do as your boss asks, or do you refuse? If you refuse, will you lose your boss’s trust, or even your job? I hope this won’t be case with anyone here.

g)  Misunderstandings

 When rules and policies change at work and you don’t communicate that change clearly to your team, confusion and conflict can occur. Lack of or incomplete communication can lead to misunderstandings.

 Cost to individual

No points for guessing, conflicts are generally destructive in nature, with time, emotional and health costs. Conflicts with others results in stress, loss of confidence, unhappiness, hostility, withdrawal and even illness.

Cost to the organization

Research indicates that a typical manager loses 25% of the day responding to helpful conflict. This is time lost to creative, productive work.

Take a medium sized organization with 100 managers. Let’s assume average monthly salary per manager is Rs 80,000. With managers losing 25% of their time on conflict, the cost will be Rs20, 00,000

This only accounts for management time. The true cost will include higher employee time, higher staff turnover, missed opportunities, absenteeism, inefficiency, low morale and poor teamwork.

 How to resolve conflict

So how do you deal with conflict and complaints?

Do you become aggressive back when it becomes a matter of who “wins” or “loses” the argument?

Or do you use cunning and well thought through communication and interpersonal skills to get you through the other end with the outcome that you desired?

In any case if a conflict has taken place, being a leader you have to approach it.

Method 1 : Ignore it.

In some situations, the issue may not be important and it may be best to ignore it. Often, though, this method does not work. The conflict does not go away.

 It festers.

Method 2. Smooth it over.

 This method is appropriate when the issues are more important to the par­ties involved than they are to you and the team’s goals. This method preserves harmony and goodwill.

 It heals.

 Method 3  Force.

  A leader uses power to resolve differences. This method is best used when an emer­gency requires a quick decision. However, it usually results in “winners” and “losers,” and losers can be resentful.

 It wounds.

 Method 4. Compromise.

 Each party makes a major concession to arrive at a solution. Since both parties lose something, they may have less support for the compromise solution.

 It either unites or divides.

Method 5. Collaboration.

This is a good way to resolve conflict. Each side recognizes the other’s needs as legitimate and important and acknowledges their ability and expertise. They work together to arrive at an agreement that will resolve the conflict. When each party wins, they have greater commitment to the solution and no resentment or distrust

It spreads harmony.

Collaboration offers a framework that will result in a win-win situation. You can facilitate the collabo­ration process by following these seven steps:

  1. Find the root cause.

Once the issues have been determined, focus on solutions not blames.

  1. Allow all parties to speak

3. Encourage all parties to listen.

4. Identify areas of disagreement..

5. Identify areas of agreement. Once everyone has spoken, help them find and discuss areas they agree on, such as: Common goals, Interests and values

6. Search for solutions. Everyone

7. Reach a consensus, by, THE BRAINSTORMING METHOD

All ideas are written down as they are generated, without discussion or evaluation.

After the ideas are exhausted, team members return to the first item on the list and discuss it, evaluating its positive and negative aspects.

Eventually, the list is narrowed to the idea that best resolves the problem

Conflict Resolution

Conflict resolution is what we do to identify and address conflict in a mature and respectful way.

 

When it is handled well it can lead to

  • Improved relationships between those who were in conflict
  • Increased understanding for the different parties around a situation or topic
  • The identification and hopefully, the improvement of the processes that aren’t working

If conflict is not handled well.

if it is allowed to escalate , relationships , the team’s ability to function, the workplace , and the product or service produced will all suffer. So understanding how to handle conflict is vital to ensuring that you can be as effective as possible in the workplace.

Somebody told me, leadership is not just about managing people it’s more about managing people’s ego.

 This article was actually my speech as one of the projects required for ALB (Advance Leader Bronze) Certification by Toastmasters.

Stay Calm and Blessed,

Saakshi

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Being Confident – My learning from Toastmasters.

Hie ,

How are summers going ?? 🙂 🙂

Last week , I completed my Competent Communicator along with  Competent Leader certification from Toastmaster manuals. Happy me 🙂 , I am just 9 month old with this programme .

Below is my project 10 from Competent Communicator manual : Inspire your audience.

My dear fellow toastmasters, I still remember my first speech. Those who have given their Icebreaker will be experiencing a sweet smile on their face and those who are still planning to give will experience goosebumps. Mine was a bit different. I thought I was dead sitting on the chair waiting for my turn. Fortunately or unfortunately mine was the first. I gave my first speech at Area Level Humorous speech competition representing our club at Adobe systems  

Before the competition, when I was bothering myself with the questions like ‘Can I do it?’ ‘ What I will do if I go blank?’ ‘Do I have the confidence, that I can make it?’ Our Mr President come to me , and ask to volunteer for Vice President  Public Relations role.

I was like uhh !! you can’t do this to me. I am the kind of person, who can work till late will never crib but interacting with entire organization and always being upfront to create a buzz ., this is just not me. I am the person who needs to be dragged to parties and then needs  some solitude to regenuate. I am not a social butterfly.  Now I am grateful , for the confidence Mr President has shown in me. 

From that day till today, the club meetings are like  weekly lessons. Thank you for all your support and guidance through the journey of learning till date. I can feel the brand new me J within me.

Lets think again, aren’t those questions scary ? Most of us , including myself try avoiding such questions b’coz deep down we have some or the other kind of fear of unknown. It can be driving, swimming, singing, dancing, public speaking or socializing.

I fear of social gatherings, no please don’t take me as an introvert or something it’s an area where I just don’t feel comfortable.. Comfortable of mass?? NO may be lack of confidence to communicate with the strangers at a personal level. I am well read , well travelled ,  enough to carry on any conversation except stock exchange and cricket !! But still … ahh !! I just can’t do that. I literally get cold feet.  Being socially inactive, my motivation was at a decline.

Finally I took charge of myself, coz , I was sick of this feeling, it was always a herculean task to approach someone and say “ hello , whats up , how u doing ? “ .  One fine day, there was a circular in my mailbox asking nominations for membership of an internationally recognized public speaking and leadership club. I at once nominated, without giving second thought or even looking at the cost. I nominated myself. I never had stage fear. In fact  I was the head girl of my school, a regular figure on stage not only b’coz  my mom can see me and hear me performing but b’coz I love the feeling of being here on the podium and addressing people. I can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but I go insanely awkward in groups and specially when I have to initiate any conversation, so I joined the club to exploit myself. Exploit b’coz in my heart I was confident that I can do it. As they say ‘no pain no gain’ my moto was ‘ if it doesn’t torture, then it doesn’t matter’.

The fact that here in Toastmasters, there is no one to judge you  or score you , here we all learn in a mutually supportive, positive learning and non threatening  environment. This means fewer chances of embarrassment and also a good opportunity to interact and socialize. Now the fear of public humiliation did the trick. Result, I am here , regained the lost self esteem projecting the much desired confidence .

This was my part of story. But one question has the power to either make it or break it – Do you believe you have confidence?

They say change is the only constant thing in life. I believe Change is other definition of life. With my year long journey with Toastmasters, now I accept that change is the only truth of life. To accept the eternal truth, one needs to have confidence and confidence in plenty. The confidence should be like a solid, which even when challenged will never backed down. The confidence should be your armor against all odds.

So, from where will we get this confidence? And when we find it , will this confidence remain with us ?

It’s a myth that confidence is a state of mind which is built by a constant thinking. The fact is confidence is within you, it’s in your heart; it’s in your belief.  Confidence creates a positive vibe around us and spreads too.  Don’t tell me you don’t try certain dance steps from Dance India Dance at home , don’t tell me you stop yourself singing in bathroom, don’t tell me  you  don’t try your hands at your favorite cuisine at home. No matter how absurd you may have performed it gives you a certain sense of happiness and satisfaction. A feeling of being ‘too good’.    

So, clearly you have the desire, take a step forward show confidence in yourself and just do it. Who knows the world around you may feel proud of you.

You love to dance, dance with your friends, feel the spotlight on you. You love to sing, then why in confines of your bathroom, don’t you think that echo ruins the melody? Call your buddies for Sunday brunch, have fun , someone may like the food and ask for tips!! Try it out

Find confidence in whatever you love to do to overcome the fears you always desire. It may not be easy because in reality, the world behaves in such a way that makes a vicious cycle revolving 360-degree without any clue. You may have fought with your fears and gave a shot but in the end, found yourself back to same place.  It must be very hard.

Most importantly, it is your confidence that tells your true worth no matter where you are and what you might be doing. Confidence is a treasure which boosts our  morale and helps in keeping us focused towards our dream despite of all odds.

And if you are thinking how to retain this confidence (I know it’s fragile) ,then have a TEAR in your eye.

Try , Enact, Analyse , Reform.

As I have been practicing this via Toastmasters, though I will be completing CC this afternoon , I don’t want to stop now. For me the fun and learning has just begun! so having said that I am confident that  I have inspired you enough to come forward and present your icebreaker , what you all need is just the CONFIDENCE and let it oozes out from your pores.

Let me know your take on this.

Keep Talking,

Saakshi

Life is what you make of it

Coffee bean on transparent background. Better ...

Coffee bean on transparent background. Better resolution version is to come. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hie,

Got the following story in a mail, feel like sharing with you all. Indeed a big life lesson from a small simple incident.

Here it goes ….

A carrot, an egg, and a cup of coffee…You will never look at a cup of coffee the same way again.

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up, She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, ‘ Tell me what you see.’

‘Carrots, eggs, and coffee,’ she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The daughter then asked, ‘What does it mean, mother?’

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

‘Which are you?’ she asked her daughter. ‘When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.

The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.

When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling.

Live your life so at the end, you’re the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.

May we all be COFFEE!

 

Keep the spirits high,

Saakshi

Titanic : 3 lessons for a Business Analyst

Some make it big.

Some make it legendary.

Some make it an epic failure.

Titanic , the tragic ship becomes the inspiration of many books, movies , remake In 3Ds. Titanic (the movie) was the first english movie I saw chupke-chupke on cable TV, its charm has totally mesmerized me. The sinking scenes made me cry. Being a kid (I would be in 6th standard) I learned how to act at the time of crisis, how to keep updating our decisions sensing the need of the hour and how to keep your cool. (Of course , how to stand on the deck of ship *wink *wink )

I managed to watch Titanic 3D three times since it’s release and thought the learning can be extended to any domain.

Here are the 3 learning’s as a Business Analyst (BA) from Titanic.

1.    Oh yeah , I know it all 🙂  

The mighty and glorious Titanic was believed to be ‘unsinkable’. For that reason, it did not carry the required number of lifeboats. This was one of the biggest causes of loss of life on the ship. The belief that the ship was unsinkable ultimately led to disaster.

Lesson for BA : Your experience and knowledge (read as assumptions) are so powerful that they directly affect how you think, learn and work. When you believe something to be correct, you act in accordance with that knowledge (assumption). Ours is a world where people don’t know what they want and are willing to make us go through hell to get it. Identify, challenge, figure out loop holes and move beyond any assumptions that could ultimately spell disaster for you.

2.      Overconfidence is Catastrophic

Overestimating the capability of the Titanic led the captain to make several perilous decisions. One such decision was to abandon the safety drill of lifeboat practice in lieu of a recording a faster sailing time to New York. Another such decision was to increase the speed of the ship, even though a neighboring ship had turned off their engines believing that the waters were treacherous.

Lesson for BA : Invest good amount of brain and time on effort estimation. Follow work break down structure and project plan religiously. Make the team be on same page and try to maintain a journal titled – lessons learned. Keep reviewing the status and the problems faced. No project can succeed without management support. The best sort of management support is the kind in which management doesn’t find out about the project until it’s a success.

3.    Address Limitations

The creators of the Titanic feared nothing. They had built a ship that could overcome the major weaknesses in ship design that caused so many ships to sink in the past. But the ‘mathematical certainty’ did happen 😦

Lesson for BABeing able to design workarounds we can do magic !! We can push our limits and deliver a better, more flexible, robust software product and please the customer, but still there is always a scope of ‘out of scope’ features pouring in. Be specific and clear about these, and address them well in time. Save your well toned neck 🙂  No matter how much you say it to be a demand problem, it’s a technical limitation, accept it. There is always a room for beta version or next phase of release

 

Source : This article is highly influenced by the original one at http://www.greatmindsinspire.com/5_Life_Long_Lessons_that_we_can_Learn_from_the_Titanic/Default.850.html

Hope you all agree with me. Have some more learning / suggestions, please drop in 🙂

Saakshi

The Expert Enough Manifesto


Image Source : Google Images

Ladies manifesto


Image Source : Google Images

The Passive Agressive Manifesto

 

Image Source : Google Images

7 steps towards a happier you

Ever wonder few good habits can make you walk the aisle of happiness?

I am a wanderer, restless, person who is in continuous search of finding the other, the better, the happier side of me. I promised myself that this year (2012), I will take care of myself at the highest priority. This is my bit ……

Follow these 7 steps to lead a happy, satisfied life.

 7 Steps to a happier you

Step 1 : Sleep .

We have our jobs to do , we have our social life to manage and we also have our family to give some time to. I always try but fail to do all that stuff in 16 hours a day; if I save 8 hours of sleep. So when I am scrambling to meet all these demands, it’s too casual of me to cut down my savings and spend them on never ending to-do lists.

Whatever, you do. Whenever you manage to do. Please DO sleep on time and for at least – 8 hours. I am no doctor who can explain you the benefits/power of sleep or be able to aware you about sleeping disorders; but can request you to think twice on your sleeping habits. Even minimal sleep loss takes a toll on your mood, energy, efficiency, conscious and ability to handle stress.

How frequently you charge your smart phones?

Step 2 : Punctuality

My work is my elixir and punctuality is one of its parameter. Try to be organized and be on time. The more you give respect to time the more you will be stress free. And while working in a service industry, you can imagine the demons of deadlines and meetings.

My mom always tell me since my childhood , to do things on time otherwise I will forget (short term memory loss 🙂 ), don’t have any clue what’s the source but I still follow this. Organize your work and prioritize it, believe me you won’t forgot those small notes , files ,no missing attachments in e-mails , and interestingly not even your lunch.

Remember, Intime , when time is currency.

Step 3 : Music

Let me clarify to all those, who don’t skip any chance to scold me when I listen loud music with earphones on (oh by the way they are always on , even now!) I know it may lead to health issues. Music helps me to focus, and freshen up, inspires me and sometimes it’s the only thing that gives me a company when I am alone. Music is Sanity.

So let me rephrase – Music is the secret of my energy.

Step 4: Walk

I love it and those who know me can swear on my stamina. Walk few steps for your life. They will give you the time you always wanted for yourself. Even doctors say walk 10,000 steps a day are actually steps to a healthier life. For my lazy days, I take bus no 11 to get back to my place.

A walk to , remember !!

Step 5: Show gratitude

Thank you”. You may have no idea what these two words can do to someone , your kind words of appreciation can make their day , give them a new hope , make them smile.

 Recall the vedio of “Kuch to hua hai” from Kal Ho Na Ho.

Thank you all for being with me till here , I am left with only 2 steps now 🙂

Step 6 : Strangers

Gone are the days when they say, don’t interact with strangers. We have twitter now. A simple # (Shift + 3, simple isn’t) can connect you to the ‘strangers’ with similar concerns. Be honest, don’t you like when someone from other part of the world retweet (RT) yours or reach you with a solution? Similar with facebook likes and shares.

Try coming out of this virtual world and interact strangers in real. Helping someone with the route, crossing the road or to park the car will surely bring a smile on their face as well as yours.

Some sort of my inner gratification.

Step 7: Peace

Have you ever thought of spending few minutes with yourself? Peace is something we all long for. I am NOT advocating listening music, or reading a book or watching a television, by peace I mean do nothing and relax silently.

For me late nights are wonderfully tranquil.  No phone calls, no interruptions. I like the feeling of knowing that nobody is trying to reach me at that hour.

Inner peace will bring the positive vibe to keep you happy as long as you wish !

Stay Happy,

Saakshi

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The Quest of the Sparrows

English: Book cover for the book The Quest of ...

Image via Wikipedia

It was some 5 hour journey during the day today with un-limited questions fighting in my mind and few medical reports and co-incidentally bank statement; which gives mirror image of my present state. I am frustrated and annoyed with myself. I am doing a bit for myself and lives a happy serene life , but at times (this comes at a frequency of 6 months) feel unstable and very string vibes of something missing.

Just trying to distract myself , I bought a book to read while traveling. Never knew reading just 20 pages will calm me down .

Thought I should share some excerpts with you. It could have been a  sin , if I choose to keep it with myself.

Book – The Quest of the Sparrows

Authors – Kartik Sharma & Ravi ‘Nirmal’ Sharma

We live in times when media is the king. It’s only interested in financial figure, records and achievements. Spirituality isn’t an object of desire, or even in the headlines; still, you are here. I bow to your spirit, which believes in what no one has seen and marches to a destination that appears to be even harder to achieve than the biggest material goal.

Most human beings search for eternal happiness. Yet, why is it elusive? Most people fail to achieve it by following idealism, spiritualism, capitalism, materialism, socialism or other-isms. Why do they meet disillusionment?

Why does a sparrow, which knows no “-isms”, live without the worries which accompany human beings? What is it we manage throughout our complex lives? Merely survival. Hey, something is wrong – because the bird does the same, effortlessly. So what’s the big difference between us and the helpless sparrow? Don’t you think we’re missing something? What is it?

Forget the sparrow for a moment. Think of all the people in this world. They go to their workplaces in the morning and then return in the evening, like swinging pendulums. But does a pendulum swing aimlessly away and towards the centre? Or does it personify something more , like time? That depends on what you associate with life? Is it aimless or does it have a higher purpose? Like pendulum, it swings between two states – birth and death. What gives it meaning? Can anyone answer ?

The divine . One answer , could be . But that’s a lofty ideal for us beginners. Think of something more practical. Look around you; is everything the same as it was a century ago? What has happened in all these years?

Evolution. Probably ,another answer. Yes . Between birth and death is evolving. That’s the higher meaning of our lives. But what do most people do ? They achieve, lose, feel happy or sad, celebrate and mourn. They merely move to and fro like a ball of a pendulum, with hardly any peace. Even among believers, everyone is religious but very few are truly spiritual. Is it all linked or unrelated? Think over it. Find the connection, and I think we will be able to solve the riddle of life.

Stay Blessed,

Saakshi

The pursuit of sadness

Have you ever experienced such a feeling that by each passing moment it feels like something is terribly missing? Something isn’t right. Have you ever faced this miserable –sinful feeling that everyone around you is in a situation just because of you.

I am in such a phase for the past few days. I know I am committing a crime. It’s only my musing power that has gone beyond its acceptable limit and is the culprit of my pitiful condition.  I prefer to remain silent, full of self guilt, confused, in a state of emptiness, hopelessness.. ..Simply sad (you can imagine any bollywood movie scene) losing my beautiful life’s battle to my worries and fear. It’s so easy to fall into feelings of despair.

 Why am I like this…One day I am so cheerful and happy like a sunshine, the other day sad, crying, despair  ? (cut short chinta mani)

Sadness and happiness are two relative words (oh come on everybody knows this, what’s new?) .We , homosapiens!  Always try to protect ourselves from sadness, run away from the things that have the potential to hit back at us, make us feel as if we are powerless to change these circumstances.  It’s an irony; we worry and fear for things that make us happy. We remain in doubt whether they will happen. Why don’t we simply make them happen? 

It’s our time, It’s our life, we can do what we like, for the price of a smile, why do we cry?

You cannot protect yourself from sadness without protecting yourself from happiness.”

I love drama. I am in love with life and have full of emotions. I am a genius of sadness, can immerse myself deeply into it, can separate numerous strands. I am a prism through which sadness could be divided into its infinite spectrum. I am sad; at times I am like this.

Am I sad? Am I in pain? Yes I am. I should be rather grateful, I feel alive . Else , its just work all day, moving from one task to the other . I should be happy, I am alive as a human not a machine. I got a reason to celebrate myself and take a break.

Life is a perfect balance. (Thee has designed it like this way, and how come He can go wrong!) There are two beams which depict two phases of our life in a cyclic way. At a given point of time, only one is heavier.

As per my observations (I haven’t lived even half of average life boosted by experts) One beam is for feelings of joy, confidence, strong self esteem and feeling on cloud 9. Another beam is for despair, a lack of finding meaning/answer/purpose of life. Sometimes walking back home I realize how miraculous is the feeling of being alive and blessed with what a wonderful gift –Life , the most undefined , unwritten , unpredicted and  unknown. There are days when the same path let me wonder about the disasters in an instant ! Money, health, relationships, friends everything (surprisingly, they all go off track together) act like a black hole; pulling me to their indefinite depth and making me lost to nowhere.

In midst of such circumstances we curse God, ‘where is HE  while all this is happening to me? ‘ How many of us have actually got the answer ? The same beautiful, precious Life seems to be a brutal struggle.

There is one more characteristic of Life – it’s uncertain. We often tend to forget this. It’s our mistake not His.

Sometimes we do not achieve what we set out to do, or something we have had or achieved is taken from us. When the world about us changes, particularly if it is sudden or dramatic, we must adapt to everything. The world is then not what we thought. We are not what we thought we were.. The old picture has been taken away, the old world we knew  that gave us comfort is gone, there is no choice but to form a new world, a new picture of how we think things are.

 

Stay Happy , keep smilling 🙂

Saakshi

PS :  “Don’t be ashamed to weep; ’tis right to grieve. Tears are only water, and flowers, trees, and fruit cannot grow without water. But there must be sunlight also. A wounded heart will heal in time, and when it does, the memory and love of our lost ones is sealed inside to comfort us.”
Brian Jacques, Taggerung

 

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