Saakshi Nagpal

Archive for the tag “success”

I See

My Toastmasters Speech – Project 2

I See

Seen people with spectacles? –

Fancy frames thick / thin lenses.

Well, there are so many like this in this room, even I am wearing my secondary eyes. You must be thinking simply how silly the question was!

Never mind, we all know an optician makes these spectacles, based on test results either done by himself or a qualified eye doctor, in medical terms an optometrist. The idea is to make the person wearing these see with clarity, taking away any lack of appropriate focussedness.

Ladies and gentlemen, greetings for the day, I hope, I wish you all, be in best of your health (coz somehow I am not) , in best of your spirits and on the top having best of your vision.

My question to you is, do we need just clarity of vision?  I consulted my doctor 6 months back and got my numbers corrected. But will these pair of glasses ensure that I will see things correctly, if my mind is filled with prejudice and close mindedness. Will I be able to keep up with the pace with so many intellectual people around, even if I choose to keep a narrow outlook?

The answer is an obvious- NO. This restrictedness of not one’s eye sight but one’s vision distorts ones perception and brings in a refractive error.  

We are all the prisoners of our own perceptions. I have a short story about the results of being locked up behind the bars of worry, doubt and fear or better to say a chained mind of its own perception.

I walked around the counter at Mc Donald’s to get a straw for my drink and found a woman frantically mopping up her spilled coffee. She was using the flimsy tissue paper that was used for wrapping burger so the mopping up process wasn’t working well. I reached for the napkins and started helping her. She looked up in surprise that I had found the napkins saying that she had looked for them but didn’t see them. Her comment was “I couldn’t see.”

She was right. She couldn’t see Why not? Because of her present state of mind, she might have panicked or been in a hurry, and this blocked her vision. She was not able to see the napkins that were kept in plain sight. It was a state of mind of “worry, rush, and fear.”
In the prison of our own perceptions, we can’t see for what we are looking, fear motivates our actions. Each of us has our own personal prison created out of all that we have been taught and accepted about the worldview. Perception does rule!

For example if someone inquires what time it is. My hands rush to my mobile phone. I don’t care that I am wearing a nice watch.

Let’s have another example how many time have you searched for your glasses and found it at place least expected, your head.

 Or what do you think is the reason behind biased political views and favoritism. Many times our upbringing, our thought patterns rule our decision making and views. We behave as if we are not able to see. As a matter of fact, we do not, if our mind is blocked with obstacles.  Many a times, the uniqueness of the system in which we are caught, forces us to see erroneously. Our unsymmetrical upbringing, different backgrounds, may prohibit us from seeing clearly. In the struggle between reality and perception, most of the times, it is the latter that emerges paramount.

Folks,  “Our Perception magnifies things that we believe in”

 Let’s all break out of prison now!

I am a Business Analyst my job is to first ask questions, get the answers and then start working on them.

I have one more question to you. Look at the below picture.

These are two horizontal lines.

Horizontal lines

Horizontal lines

Which one is longer?

Many of you may find the above one longer. But, you will be surprised to know that, both are equivalent in length.

My perception says, the first denotes the open mind when you are able to see broad horizons and the second, a closed, restricted, narrow mind. So in the end, I am repeating myself, Perception Rules!

Lastly I would get a smile, when someone from the audience says, “I see”, as an acknowledgement of my speech. It’s a relief that we all share same perception J

Advertisements

Anger is one short of Danger

To ‘ one’  world, I am better known as rude, harsh, cold, stubborn, hard headed, short tempered snobbish lady. For them, may be, I am. Frustrations, anger and irritations are the demons, which surround me (not sure, us) and haunt me (At least, yes, to me) time to time.

Once upon a time on one fine day, which was not like just another day , I was suffering from anger , due to some unexpected conversations with a  good (I mean it) friend. I realized, somehow, through the screaming in my mind, that even in midst of such sentimental attack;  I was still free ; free to hate the things that hurt me;  free to disconnect the phone and acknowledge my anger;  free to louder the music (free – for the matter of fact my neighbors are out for holidays)  and just dance like a emotion-free , stress-free, tiredness-free mad girl. I am still free to hate the moments that were torturing me, or to forgive me.

It doesn’t sound like much!

I know.

But in the flinch and bite of the solitude (hate to call, loneliness) , (self) locked in the confines of a small room , echoes of highway midnight traffic , what’s all I have got is freedom. I read this somewhere; freedom is like, universe of possibilities.

I am not that kind of person who can talk at length about negativity (they give me a sick feeling). Rather, I am the kind of person who in spite being red hot in anger will think of possibilities to come out with a little more than the wiser and calmer me, there should be (has to be) some gain out of it.

If you search on anger management on internet, you will find a very long list of remedies. Drinking lots of water, meditation, taking a nap, talking/yelling to/at a friend, maintain a silence, count till ten, deep breathes etc etc. Perhaps they may work or even may not, like in my case, nothing like this, I believe one has to find out the fixtures on their own (they depend person to person, affinity to affinity).

Below are the remedies for anger control, which I follow.

( Note: Please don’t blindly follow them, think before you do.)

1.       Dance

Take away points – Burn calories, Toned body , major stress relief for calmer and focused me.

Losing points – You can try this if and only if you are at home and music volume should be convenient to neighbors.

2.       Walk to the nearest mall.

Take away points – Everybody knows the benefits of walking. I mention walking to the nearest mall for those who are shopaholics. Every time I visit any shopping mall, I get to listen Enrique Iglesias (hearing him is always soothing).

Losing points – Keep the minimum amount of cash with you and please leave cards at home.

3.       Shop

The moment you have read the word ‘shop’ you have imagined yourself with bags full of clothes, footwear, accessories etc. Stop those imaginary horses there only. When in anger, you have have to shop smarty. Otherwise your pockets/credit card bills will make sure to provide you another shot of anger.

Take away points – Shop for groceries , bed linens , books , music…chances are there would be little wastage and they will be in use for long. For bed linen, I can anytime gift them.

Losing Points – If the anger meter is at alarming rate, skip shopping and enjoy movie.

 

4.       Write

Take away points – Twitter , Facebook , Blogs, Personal documents describe a groundbreaker and game changer. I can never let myself down.

Losing Points – In anger or in whatever scenario, don’t ever, disrespect/abuse/spread bad word for the cause of anger. Every coin has two sides, respect that.

 

5.       Interact

Take away points –I Interact to enrich my social network of peers, colleagues, even my competitors. My willingness to listen and learn (Running away from the reason, why I am so upset) from all the people I interact, help me to be a better person.

Losing Points – Mind your words and tone.

 

Earlier in my teenage and early 20 days (again, guessing my age !! bad idea) I used to break things, at times yell in a screaming-itchy-irky  tone and have a compulsive eating disorder. With anger I was in danger.

Now, with a bit of life experience and a blessed happening life (frequent in –out) I have learnt this in a hard way that anger is one short of danger. And I am happy to announce I have found my , one short.

 

Keep Cool,

Saakshi

Something gone wrong !

Hi folks,

How are you?

I hope you must be in the best of spirits of your health and also on the road that leads to LIFE.

You must be wondering about the title of this weblog. Chill. Relax. Nothing has gone wrong (presently) in my life. It was just a thought across my mind while attending a team meeting today. (Boss, I am sorry nothing sort of this was on agenda and definitely I was attentive,it is just a random thought.)

Earlier I imagined what life would be, if it is well documented. That weblog was all about planning. Here, I am talking about execution of the planning discussed previously and the fate of decisions that were taken.

I am a Business Analyst and belong to IT sector; I tend to see LIFE as a long term engagement project. For me success of project LIFE depends upon the decisions made while it is on planning and development phase.

Before I go further into Root cause Analysis of why something goes wrong, I have few questions for you.

Q1 :How do you make decisions?

a) Are you influenced by peers?

b) According to your experience?

c) Blindly follow your gut?

OR

d) As per your comfort level?

It depends from person to person  and sheer luck, following  any one of the above can either rocket you on cloud 9 or corner you with a bottle of wine and a jaw dropped expression saying ‘something has gone wrong.’

Q2 : How sure are you with your decision ? Do you regret?

When I was a kid I was always running away from water (you guessed right 🙂 , I somehow managed to skip bathing every second day) my father  used to pick me up on his shoulders and without warning threw me in a big bucket. I was shocked at first but then laughed out at the trick he’d played.

He taught me a lesson, ‘whenever you want to achievesomething, plunge straight in.’

Traveling through all those growing years, I had quickly (yes, I regret 😦  ) forgotten this lesson . I am only …oh, how old I am!! Hmmm…. were you expecting that I will disclose my age…leave it. I had already nurtured many enthusiasms (starting something on my own , enrolling to MBA classes , going for walks every day , learning dance , studying Spanish and French ,blabla , blue  blue ) which I had abandoned as quickly as I had taken them up.

I am not afraid of difficulties rather I always stand upfront to face challenges. I was scaredof forcing myself to choose one particular path and missing out on others. I am afraid of committing to myself. I always wanted to follow all possible paths and so ended up following none.

Every project by default has a fate – failure, unless and until you firmly decide to be on one path and drag it to success. There are no optimal solutions pre-written or tree structures made to crack the mystery of success.  Similarly, Life is complicated. One has to follow certain paths and abandon others at times, only to prove that they were not the right ones, but it wasn’t as bad as choosing a path and then spending the rest of life wondering something had gone wrong.

Probably , it is the law of life (I m pretty young to say ‘fact of life’) that not everyone could escape the dark night even if someone has never made a decision , even if someone lacks courage to change anything because in itself it was a decision!! (Proud to be an Analyst)

Well, my dad also says, ‘the time when it goes wrong it’s actually teaching you something.’

Are you still worrying that something has gone wrong?

Cheat sheet for you:

Nothing in the world is completely wrong, even a stopped clock is right twice a day.

Fear – A stopage before victory

English: Title of motivation and emotion

Image via Wikipedia

We dream of becoming heroes.

We dream to hear large audience’s applause and cheering our names.

We dream to be a star.

We dream of victory.

And, in reality …….

We have sleepless nights.

We hopelessly get anxious over defeat.

We perspire and we are nervous.

And this is when …..

We Fear.

FEAR is an acronym in the English language for “False Evidence Appearing Real

I too have dreams (a lot of them) and subsequently few fears. What stops me from getting over them and achieve what I want to – is, a sense that people around me might disapprove “what I aim to be”, worst the sense of being embarrassed in front of all.

I fear of public speaking (on a broader spectrum, socializing). And at times think myself as an introvert (which certainly I am not). I stick to my belief that underestimating my potential would be the worst I can do to myself, so, I start digging my mind to find the roots of my hesitation (as I feel I was much active and participated regularly in my school days).I was happy to observe that am bit less of a social person now but duly content with myself. However this ‘solitude’ at times haunts. (Yes! I confess.)

So on my mission to revamp, I am in no mood of entertaining myself with a silly excuse ‘not going to do, because of fear of failure’, which by matter of fact is true and it’s a human tendency. (I v/s myself – on this fight am always on).

Fear is a habit like self pity, defeat, anxiety, despair, hopelessness and resignation. I wish to dump all this junk out of my sacred mind and soul with two simple resolves – I can and I will.

So here I am with a RED – GREEN – YELLOW plan; traffic lights with a twist. (A big round of applause, it’s designed by – “ME”!!). Here goes the plan …

•           RED: – Stop and say HI J(in person, online forums, or on an IM). Idea is to de-sensitize myself at social situations only in a motivating way. Building courage and expanding my comfort, being genuine at the same time.

•           GREEN: – GO! Take THE action. Being motivated is just not enough. Absorbing the positive energy and taking action to bring the change is vital. There are so many wonderful ways to act and am sure they would be bringing gains along with them. Simply take a piece of paper (or open a new word documentJ) and pen down whatever crosses my mind. Motivation is important else it can be hard to get going and knowing actually what needs to be done to bring the change.

•           YELLOW: – Next to motivation and action is FOCUS. Focus on the amazing work to be inspired more and maintain the spark (I usually call it as the ‘charm’).

I know failure will haunt back, at least to someone with a fragile mind set as mine. After all I define fear as a block on one’s mentality and confidence. So here I am with my disguise skills. I plan to disguise my mind by looking at the other side of coin. If I fail, there would be some lesson; it would automatically create room for improvement. Just need to catch it. No one is going to kill me if I fail, it won’t be the end of the world, I will still be alive, very much alive to move on with full energy and inspiration, determined to fight back again. I would not be at square one again. I have achieved something. Earlier I was hesitating to start and now I actually have started!!

I am open to hear what failure needs to tell me because I impatiently want to taste success.

This inspiration comes to me from my niece. She got a beautiful bicycle as her birthday present and also has fear of riding it. But after one or two bruises, she was ready to invite me for a lift and can even bet for a race. If this sweet little kid can do it, then why can’t a grown up mature woman like me can’t do?

I have learnt that an addiction to positivity can lessen the fear in my mind of what might happen in a new, unfamiliar situation or how someone might respond to what I am saying. A negative view of the world can create fear and hold me back.

And if ever I lose motivation, inspiration and focus (cut short, my charm) I will come back to this page, read my own words and be my own motivation. I hope it will work; I can’t let myself down 😉

Friends, wish me luck. I need it ‘coz darr ke aage jeet hai  🙂

Persistence Pays

I am often termed as being aggressive when it comes to my firm holding of belief, no matter how hard they try to convince me with their solution. I persist of being myself, simply rejecting anything which could hit me hard.

It’s rightly said ‘persistence pays’. ALWAYS.

I would not accept any statement just because majority of people believe in ‘such’ protocol. I will do what I wanted to (bluntly saying, beating my own drum). Results will come to me, eventually owing to my repeating and persistent efforts.

Hey wait, I just said “results will come to me”. The results can be anything positive or negative. It depends upon aim, purpose and the way I fight. If the combo sets right, I am the winner, hurray J(I have been the drum in melody). However if the combo has even the slightest of variation from what we call as “right” then it’s a tai tai phish(I have beaten the drum in an awful manner).

Considering me as a strong will powered human like a rock. There are two scenarios.

Scenario 1: A rock under ironsmith’s hammer.

Pretty obvious, I am fighting the wrong way and preparing myself well for a blast. On the other hand the tool placed on me will become sharper. Repeated hammering would produce a fracture in me (the rock) and me broken eventually.

Scenario 2: A rock at dhobi ghat.

Have you ever been to a dhobi ghat? Have you ever experienced to touch the washing stone? To much of your amuse it is smooth like a marble or glass, though absorbing the continuous friction from repeated hits of wet clothes. I (the rock) would have been outshining myself to the glory. Quite possible if the fight prolongs I may become granite one day 😉

Ironsmith’s hammer did not say the rock was to strong nor did the wet clothes. They continued to do what they wanted to. Hammer persistence fuelled with the right combo resulting in breaking the rock. On the other hand, the rock sticking itself to ground holding firm aim to be there, smoothen up, irrespective of the harshness of wet clothes.

So, yes, it is right persistence do pay but the bottom line is ‘the way you spend it’.

This is what I have learnt. Please excuse me of listing weird comparisons. The only thing I am left with is it to find “measures for the right combo”. Need help!!!!

 

 

PS: My aggressiveness have earned me a title ‘angry bird’ addressed with a broad smile just to cut down the effect J

Post Navigation

%d bloggers like this: